RE: Advice for Job Seekers

[KMcLauchlan -at- chrysalis-its -dot- com]

Melanie S. responded:
> compliant is
> against the whole genre of such questions. "What is your 
> greatest weakness?"
> is a classic of the genre. Their use is very widespread.)</snip>
> 
> I agree! If anyone ever asks me one of those questions again, 
> I'll just walk
> out.  
[snip]
> Not
> some silly question out of a silly book meant to put me on the spot.
[endSnip]

Hey, nice thread!   :-)  Who's yer tailor?

Two years ago, I got this current job, partly due to 
my professional wonderfulness (hey, if you must gag, 
at least leave the room...) partly due to damn fine 
resume, presentation and interview techniques for which 
I paid the estimable Bernard Haldane Associates, and 
partly due to moving into a high-tech boomtown where 
good help was being snapped up at a premium. (Gotta love it.)

In fact, I received several interviews and even several 
firm offers in a very short time, picked the one I wanted, 
but went to the other interviews to be polite and... just 
in case.   :-)

So, I was at this one interview, with an offer in my pocket 
from my current employer, feeling blissfully complacent and 
utterly unpressured, when I realized that the interviewer 
felt rather slimy.  Not to touch, I hasten to add... but 
certainly to be cooped-up with, in a small room.
The inevitable happened.  He asked me the "what's your 
greatest weakness?" question, and sat back, looking, well, 
slimy.

Pause here.  Relish this.  Are you one of those people who 
goes through life, coming up with exquisite, scathing retorts 
just minutes after they would have done some good?  I am.
But, I had all the time in the world.  I let the pause drag 
out. Behind my calmly-cheerful smile, I carefully laid out 
my reply, even as his smug facade began to fray a smidgen.

Then I leaned forward in my most engagingly conspiratorial 
manner and asked:

"Do you represent this company?"
Taken slightly aback he said: "Well, of course. Yes."
"MmHm," I said. "Well, I can answer your question in 
several ways. I can give you the standard response from 
the text, about being a perfectionist. Or I can pretend to 
stammer and sweat a bit and blurt out something about 
crack cocaine and stolen military secrets. Or, perhaps I 
should just tell you the title of the book where you got 
that silly question, along with the author's name, and 
the chapter and the page number..." I was groping in my 
pocket and finally withdrew a crumpled bit of paper, 
which I smoothed on the table between us. "... and here. 
Here's the ISBN."  My smile was gone and I was staring 
into his right eye-ball.

Before he stopped doing the fish-thing with his mouth, 
I grabbed one of his slimy appendages, pumped it 
enthusiastically, said a cheery, "Well, I really MUST 
be going. It's been interesting. We'll call if we need 
to see you again."  I wasn't even embarrassed to accost 
someone in the hall to ask the way out.  Then I went and 
had a plate of scallops for lunch, and a BIG piece of pie.    
Ahhh.

Oh, and of course I'd palmed the little piece of paper, 
which carried the ISBN of a book I'd been meaning to order - 
Buehler's Backyard Boatbuilding, or Dilbert, or something.

If I ever develop the ability to finess an interview like 
that when I *don't* already have an offer in my pocket, I 
will have achieved aplomb, and the world will truly be mine.
Until then, I really hope that the Alzheimer's leaves that 
particular memory intact until the very last.    :-)

Thank you, and good night.

/k