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Subject:RE: Active versus passive From:"Michael West" <mike -dot- west -at- oz -dot- quest -dot- com> To:"TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com> Date:Fri, 22 Dec 2000 13:58:15 +1100
Sharon wrote:
> You offer this example of a process:
> The laundry is sorted, washed, dried
> and folded. I agree that the sentence
> is fine as it stands. However, I
> suggest that the following is more easily
> understood at first reading: I
> sort, wash, dry, and fold the laundry.
First, the preliminaries:
No offense taken nor intended, we all need
each other, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.
Now then. In Sharon's example ('I sort, wash, dry,
and fold the laundry') I think she's changed
the purpose and focus of the statement. The
focus is on "I" as an actor, not on what
happens to the laundry. My example was
deliberately anonymous, because it is describing
what must happen to the laundry rather than
'by whom.' The "who" is immaterial in this case.
The main purpose of the structure known as a
'process' in structured writing is to describe what
is done and in what order. The 'doer' is not the
most important thing, and often doesn't matter at all.
In a 'procedure', however, the important thing is
WHAT the DOER does. If you are addressing the doer
(as we usually do when we write for users), then we
use direct address and imperative mood to place the
focus clearly on what "you" must do. You sort, you
wash, you dry, you fold.
And that's the difference between a process
and a procedure. Different purpose, different
method. If you are writing instructions, you must
distinguish between actions to performed by the person
you are addressing and those performed by some other
agent. Agentless passive voice does not do this.
I agree with your comments about agentless
passive voice being harder to process and visualize.
This is well-documented. It is hard to picture
something being done when you don't know who or
what is doing it. It is harder for most people to visualize
"a ball being thrown by a boy" than to visualise
"a boy throwing a ball." I would have thought this
to be common sense, but, boy are there a lot of
uncommonly non-sensical tech writers out there.
To sum up:
The clearest instructions are usually written in active
voice, imperative mood statements, such as "Enter the data."
Conversely, the vaguest instructions are usually written
in agentless passive-voice declarative statements,
such as "the data is entered".
If your main purpose is just to describe "what happens
to something" then passive voice is a good choice (badaboom!)
If your main purpose is to MAKE IT CLEAR WHO DOES WHAT
then try to avoid the passive.
See youse next year.
--
Michael West
Melbourne, Australia
--
Michael West
Melbourne
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