RE: offline courtesy among list members

["Pete Sanborn" <psanborn2 -at- earthlink -dot- net>]

I couldn't disagree more with Matthew.  I am assuming he must be very old
because his response reminds me of something my mother said a few years ago:
"I'm too old to be polite."  Matthew can justify rudeness any way he likes
and I have no doubt that his justification makes sense to him.  However, in
an advanced society, the rules of etiquette are among the few things that
separate us from a developing 3rd world country.  Nothing gets my dander up
faster than to hold a door for someone and get no response.  Sure, it's not
the most important thing that happens in my world, it's simply an expression
of what was once called "common courtesy".

Unfortunately, in our world today, "common courtesy" isn't common at all.
The lack of manners reflects a lack of respect for others.  And, when we
lose that respect for others, we might as well get down in the gutter and
turn this and every other web site into the equivalent of an online Jerry
Springer Show.  Is that what we want?

I think Matthew would discover that a simple thank you would garner him far
more *repeat* favors than he currently gets.  A simple thank you doesn't
necessarily generate a never-ending response of "you're welcome" (note the
correct spelling, Matthew) followed by endless embellishments of the
original thank you and ending up with a promise to bear someone's child.
It's just common courtesy and, with so much anger and cruelty in the world
today, we all need a little common courtesy.

Of course, that's just my belly button's worth of opinion.

Happy Holidays.

Regards,
Pete Sanborn


-----Original Message-----
From: bounce-techwr-l-81537 -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com
[mailto:bounce-techwr-l-81537 -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com]On Behalf Of Matthew
Horn
Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2001 8:45 AM
To: TECHWR-L
Subject: RE: offline courtesy among list members


Actually, I disagree with your need for a "thanks" and it boils down to
economy of time. Rules of politesse have changed, IMHO. If someone emails me
just to say "thanks" I look poorly on that because:
1) every email must be examined by me for potential viruses -- and I look
particularly hard at email addy's I don't immediately recognize
2) every email must be processed by my company's servers
3) the email might interrupt me while I am working
4) the email might have large attached v-cards or signature files that use
additional bandwidth

Particularly annoying to me is when someone responds with a "Thanks" and
then someone else responds with the obligatory "Your welcome". Come on!
You're using bandwidth, both in the literal and figurative sense. And you
are not even using the proper contraction "you're"!

Example.....

To: John
From: Jim
"Hey, John, I was wondering if you had that file? Thanks!"

To Jim:
From: John
"Here ya go. Glad to help!"

To: John
From: Jim
"Thanks again!"

To: Jim
From: John
"Your welcome!"

.... later that morning....
Jim briefly thinks he should come back with some sort of lovingly crafted
response expressing even deeper gratitude than his previous two attempts to
thank John. Eventually, he settles on printing out the email trail and
adding it to his folder as an example of what a team player he is.


Please reply offlist. :)
Matthew Horn




-----Original Message-----
From: kcronin -at- daleen -dot- com [mailto:kcronin -at- daleen -dot- com]
Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2001 8:33 AM
To: TECHWR-L
Subject: offline courtesy among list members


Sorry to be a whiner, but I'm a little disappointed in the behavior of
some members of this list.

Fairly frequently, other TECHWR-L members contact me off-list, asking for
me to elaborate on something I've posted. In response to their requests, I
have e-mailed them documents, tutorials, summaries of responses I've
received to queries I've posted, sets of screen captures, etc., usually on
the same day they requested it.

And about half the time, I never hear from them again. Not even a "thanks,
but this really isn't what I needed."

Are any of you experiencing the same?

This list provides a tremendous resource to me, and I value it greatly.
But I think that sometimes people who post here are so caught up in
looking for immediate solutions for whatever fire they're currently trying
to put out, that they forget some common courtesies.

We're all busy. And yet, we take the time to put in our two cents.

Just typing "thanks" and hitting the Reply button would make a big
difference, at least to me. </END SAD VIOLIN MUSIC>


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