RE: Fw: Why do we put so many warnings in our manuals?

["Nancy Kaminski" <nancy -dot- kaminski -at- spanlink -dot- com>]

> From: Sean Hower [mailto:hokumhome -at- freehomepage -dot- com]

> fault of the dentist. I don't know what it is. Is it fear of 
> getting in trouble? Is it bad upbringing? Is it the media? Is 
> it something in the drinking water making people stupid? 

I honestly think that it's faulty upbringing. Parenting theory over the
last 30 years or so has concentrated on bolstering a child's
self-esteem---not by encouraging the child to actually accomplish
anything worthwhile (and risk failure), but by telling them that
anything they do is wonderful, even if they do a slipshod job of it.
Outcomes don't matter, only effort (and that effort might consist of
just making a half-hearted attempt at doing something). Any criticism is
damaging to the child's self-esteem, so doing well isn't rewarded, and
everyone gets a pat on the head no matter what they do.

So it's not surprising that idiots do things and then expect to be told
that no, it wasn't their fault (nothing's their fault, they just made a
bad choice)and they'll get something to make them feel better -- a gold
star, a gift, or a million-dollar settlement.

A minor example of this occurred when I performed some "beta reading"
for a college-age girl on one of my fiction lists. Beta reading a story
means you comment on content and hopefully correct grammar and
punctuation. I dutifully beta'd her story as she had asked me to, and
had to tell her that for me it didn't hang together, and that the
characters were unconvincing. She also had very important and
easily-researched facts wrong (how someone gets published in a
scientific journal) that affected the whole point of the story. 

She wrote me back telling me how hurtful my comments were. How could I
criticize her story? How could I not tell her that parts of it were
totally wonderful? What did it matter if she had facts wrong---it was
only a story! And on and on and on. The whining and self-pity were
unbelievable.

My constructive criticism fell on deaf ears (and believe me, I offered
suggestions on how to she might improve the story, and in a very kind
way). She didn't think of reworking the story. I don't think she even
conceived of the possibility that someone might find flaws in her
writing. All she knows is that I hurt her feelings, poor baby.

I hate to think what her reaction would be if she was ever truly edited.
I think she'd sue the editor. <g>

Nancy Kaminski
nancy -dot- kaminski -at- spanlink -dot- com


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