RE: Do I have a right to feel POed??

["Kight, Cindy K." <Cindy -dot- Kight -at- Gilbarco -dot- com>]

Yes, you have a right to be upset.

I think we all deal with this at one time or another.  See John Posada's
'Story of My Life' post from earlier today where the a development meeting
e-mail said, "John is optional, as always."  We are the right-fielders in
the development game - no one notices we're there until we're needed.

Still, it's important to assess the situation before you take further
action.  Were you left out because the Development Manager has no respect
for you and thinks of you as a glorified secretary?  Or do you just need to
be sure you're on the right e-mail distribution list?  If it's the first,
you have some work to do.  

But it might just be that the guy had a little memory lapse when sending out
the e-mail.  I've found that our guy has a distribution list for his
managers.  I don't work for him and don't need to see every departmental
e-mail.  So he has to consciously remember which e-mails to add me to.
Sometimes he forgets (and is contrite afterwards).  Two years ago, his
attitude was more like, "Why do I have to tell YOU?"

Here's what I've done to improve relations:
1.  Demonstrate competence as a team member - sounds like you've got a good
handle on that aspect.  
2.  Get a key manager or two on your side who will help make sure you're
included - in my case, I have someone over the development manager and
someone under the development manager who will say, "Documentation needs to
be in on this," and forward me e-mails where I was omitted from the
distribution, cc'ing the development manager.  It wasn't too long before I
became included in most things. 
3.  Lighten up - I've actually found humor to be very effective.  It gets
people on your side in a friendly way.  "Oh, we added that mod two months
ago?  I must've missed that e-mail. ;)"  "Oh well, we can probably skip it -
nobody reads the documentation anyway...",  "That's OK, we know we're
invisible."  "You forgot to send me the specs?  No problem, we just make it
all up anyway."  "Joe thinks I have ESP."  I use it sparingly and in a
spirit of fun teasing - never in a sarcastic or mean tone.  

My viewpoint is that people are basically good, but they're a bit
short-sighted sometimes.  Yes, your Development Manager was wrong and you
have every right to get really mad.  (I've been plenty mad, believe me.) But
acting on our feelings isn't always the most workable solution.  

Good luck to you,

Cindy Kight
Technical Communications Manager
RMS Group - Gilbarco, Inc.
Glendale, CA


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