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Subject:RE: will or is From:Kate Robinson <KRobinson -at- seattle -dot- telecomsys -dot- com> To:TECHWR-L <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com> Date:Thu, 4 Sep 2003 15:12:11 -0700
WAS:
If selected, income contained in Section V of the 1003 will not be included
in the 833 request file, and subsequently will not be returned in the credit
report. This could be desirable in no income verification loans.
REWRITE:
To exclude income contained in Section V of the 1003 from the 833 request
file and from the credit report, select this option. This is useful for
loans that do not verify income.
ANALYSIS:
I think the paragraph is just awkward. I don't know enough about the context
to know if my rewrite is appropriate, but at least it's clearer. That is, if
it's what they meant to say.
(I don't know why it's more fun to rewrite your sentences than do the same
in the document I'm soldiering my way through this afternoon. But it is.)
(Probably has something to do with the slugs.)
Kate Robinson
TechComm Editor
TCS/TeleCommunication Systems Inc.
