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Whenever I have to do something like that (albeit unofficially), I find
that flattery gets me everywhere. Usually I try to take the angle of "I
really like where this is going, and here are some ways to be even MORE
sure of achieving the goal..." For example:
If I get a "training document" that is really a mess (or even a
nightmare), I would probably try to frame it like this:
"I think the target audience is right on, and I think the tone of voice
("you" vs. "the user") is a very good step, but with a better process
breakdown/more eye-catching design/<your suggestion here>, we could have
even more confidence that our intended message is getting through, and
here's why:
OR
"I see that you've provided great detail in the procedures, which will
allow even the most inexperienced person to perform the task. That's
great. With the reorganization of tasks into a more chronological flow,
we could probably ensure better lesson retention because people would
have the added benefit of remembering the 'segues' between tasks instead
of just the 1-2-3's."
Even if there is lots and lots of BAD, there are always glimmers of the
right idea -- or at least signs that someone made an effort (if
unsuccessful) of discovering the right idea. Try to take those glimmers
and nuggets and build your critique within that framework.
By the way -- as far as formatting suggestions go, I can't help but
wonder if you might tie them up into more general blanket statements
instead of specifics such as "bad bullet usage on page 4." (Not that I
know that this is what you've written, but please bear with me... hehe)
Also try to be as aware as possible that SOME formatting issues are
subjective (although many don't leave a much--if any--room for debate).
Make sure you're not just stating personal preferences or "that's how my
workplaces have always done it" issues. I only say this because I often
have to take a step back and make sure I'm not doing that, as well.
Sometimes it's really hard NOT to so this because it comes very
naturally to mark docs up according to the style/format guidelines that
you or I use every day. Even if they're common practice for you or me,
they might not be "industry standard" per se.
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