RE: You VS One

["Combs, Richard" <richard -dot- combs -at- Polycom -dot- com>]

Lauren wrote: 
 
> I think that they are both yucky.
> 
> The first person imperative is,
> "Register by October 15 to vote in the November election."

That's second person imperative. The implied subject is "you" -- the
person to whom the sentence is addressed.

There is no first person imperative (well, maybe the voice in my
head...).
 
> But that is not really directed to the subject, which in this case is
> voters.
> 
> I think "you" and "one" are both best avoided by referring to the
subject
> directly.
> 
> "Voters who want to vote in the November election, must register by
> October
> 15."

That's third person -- which is fine, but it makes the subject someone
other than the person to whom the sentence is addressed. Thus it
doesn't, in Leonard's words, "draw the reader into the text or evoke a
response from the reader." 

It also has a slight logic problem: they're not voters before they
register. And that comma has got to go. 

IMHO, of course. ;-)

Richard


Richard G. Combs
Senior Technical Writer
Polycom, Inc.
richardDOTcombs AT polycomDOTcom
303-223-5111
------
rgcombs AT gmailDOTcom
303-777-0436
------






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