Re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

["Pro TechWriter" <pro -dot- techwriter -at- gmail -dot- com>]

Okay, here's my suggestion. You have gotten some good advice, but here's one
that has worked for me. (I have a concern as well, but I'll list that at the
bottom.)

When he brings it up again say:

"Stop, please." (Hand out in stop motion.) We've talked about this, and I
don't want to embarass you. Let's drop it." (In other words, you will
embarass him if he does not stop). Use a very calm, low key tone of voice,
making it as "flat" as possible, with very little inflection. Keep your face
perfectly expressionless if you can.

If he continues, do "the broken record" Stop. please. Stop, stop, stop.
(Hand out in stop position.) If he continues, walk away. Go to the ladies
room if he follows you.

In any subsequent conversations, repeat above, beginning with "We've been
over this. Let's go on now and talk about the project." Do not respond in
*any other way* to his comments. Say STOP, and change the subject.

This usually works :-) After 25 years of Al-Anon, I have used it many times,
usually with someone who was very angry. It is very effective.

On Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 9:23 AM, Gene Kim-Eng <techwr -at- genek -dot- com> wrote:

> Your project is already jeopardized by your coworker's
> behavior.  All the distraction you are experiencing is
> probably a fraction of the attention he is diverting from
> his end of the work toward thinking of new ways to try
> to come on to you.  If you haven't already done so, you
> need to tell him that you don't want to discuss his
> desire to have you and your sons join him in his hobby
> any more.  The next step if he continues is to talk to
> your manager and see if he/she wants to try to step in
> before you take it to your company HR.
>
> Gene Kim-Eng
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Blount, Patricia A" <Patricia -dot- Blount -at- ca -dot- com>
> > I'm dangerously close to losing my temper with him, which prompts this
> > email to you. How can I shut him up without jeopardizing this project?
>
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-- 
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People,' that our deepest human desire is to believe we are a good person."

-- Rabbi Schmuley

Tell your kids they are >good< people.
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