re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

["Blount, Patricia A" <Patricia -dot- Blount -at- ca -dot- com>]

Good day to all,

First, let me apologize to you all for generating so much mail on this
problem. I know you're all quite busy and am sorry for taking you away
from that work.

Second, I'm on digest so let me apologize again to all those who asked
me for further information and never got a response. (Bill, you got it
in one! Role-playing and other game play is correct.)

Finally, in reading your responses together, it is now clear to me that
my own reluctance (or inability?) to be assertive is what created this
mess in the first place. I'm forty-two years old...throughout my entire
career, I've been challenged with expressing feelings because when I
have, I was labeled "emotional." I've never quite learned how to express
opinions without the emotion, so I avoid, I make excuses, I go home and
vent on the family, but at work, I just continue to grit my teeth
through the problem du jour.

That stops now. 

I am done making excuses for him. My manager's been aware of this since
the project started but I spoke with her again yesterday to make sure
she understands I don't find this cute, and plan to stop it or escalate
it if necessary. She is a hundred percent with me. The plan is to wait
until he approaches, stop him with a direct command (not a question that
starts with "I'm sorry, but could you..." ) so that there are witnesses
to the exchange. She believes he's merely the stereotypical egg-head
type who's never looked up from his Dungeons & Dragons character sheets
long enough to learn how to deal with real people. 

Be that as it may, I feel "in control" of the situation for the first
time.

Sincerest thanks to all of you for your patience, your suggestions and
in some cases - your bluntness. 

Patty 
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