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Re: "Sorry you're not the right fit" - After "all is fine" for 4 weeks
Subject:Re: "Sorry you're not the right fit" - After "all is fine" for 4 weeks From:Yannia Vodrovich <coralfire -at- rocketmail -dot- com> To:"Downing, David" <DavidDowning -at- users -dot- com>, techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com Date:Mon, 1 Dec 2008 07:36:47 -0800 (PST)
This is how I felt at this job. I am rather extroverted. I laugh and joke with everyone. At my last job and all prior, I would joke and laugh with everyone, and could usually make people smile and even crack up. I have been routinely been described as "a nut" "someone who gets along with everyone" that type of person. I like to cut up etc. Though I can work very hard. I've been told people admire my work ethic too. (Although in recent years I see myself liking tech writing less and getting rather restless sometimes. I think a career changes is in the pike.)
At this job, I would joke with people and they would smile quietly like they were uncomfortable. With some of them it seemed that they were just introverted. But some of them, it was like they were in clicques (sp?) - little 'boys' club' clicques - where inside their clicques, they would laugh and joke with each other that way, but if I joked with them that way, they would not joke back or laugh back with me that way, only with each other.
Or at times, it was as though they had their guard up with me, as though they knew something I didn't.
Or it was like they were doing their Stepford thing, being the Android as I mentioned. It was just an odd thing that was in the air. People acted splintered, like they were not happy there, like the esprit de corps was bad there, but no one wanted to say it was, so they just smiled politely at things but didn't heartily "belly laugh" because they just didn't feel it, like inside they were really miserable but didn't dare say that because of fear. After all the family was everywhere (it was a family business), so the KGB might report on you.
Y
________________________________
From: "Downing, David" <DavidDowning -at- users -dot- com>
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Sent: Wednesday, November 26, 2008 11:33:43 AM
Subject: RE: "Sorry you're not the right fit" - After "all is fine" for 4 weeks
Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:31:33 -0500
From: "Erica" <ericamhc -at- gmail -dot- com>
Subject: RE: "Sorry you're not the right fit" - After "all is fine"
for 4 weeks
"Just as a voice of support, I'm also an introvert and it can cause
problems.
I think we introverts get the bad rap because we're so quiet sometimes.
"
Yes, we need to speak out in our own defense, but we have trouble doing
that because we're introverts.
"During reviews the only negative comment I remember being given is that
I'm
too quiet. I don't think there's a way to address it in some
environments.
In the job where I was told this, the other coworker was so very
negative it
was impossible to talk to her without feeling absolutely drained and
miserable. She had nothing good to say about anything, and was later
fired
for her negativity and unwillingness to grow in the company, months
AFTER I
resigned. In the meantime though I was often criticized for not being
more
talkative with her. Another coworker at the same job complained I didn't
say
"good morning" to her every day, and when I did start doing so,
completely
ignored me. Again, I was labeled anti-social and introverted. She was
also
later fired from the company for some rather appalling behavior."
Yes, it's definitely not a one-way street. Some people are easier and
more pleasant to talk to than others, and some situations make it easier
to talk to people. In fact, there are some people who probably wouldn't
believe I'm an introvert.
"When I moved to another company I made sure to make special effort in
the
beginning to appear as an extrovert. Specifically, when I had free time
I
made sure to do work in the common area between departments, and made a
point of greeting every person I saw regardless of where they worked in
the
building or what they did. On breaks I tidied up the kitchen area just
so I
could chat with people coming for coffee refills or to have a snack.
Since
most departments were rather self-segregated this was unusual and made
me
seem quite extroverted. Employees there still remember my face and role
and
ask management to hire me back."
I've also been known to deliberately overcompensate. I remember one time
in particular. I went to an informal talk given by composer Steve Reich,
and when he invited questions, I deliberately forced myself to ask the
first one because I knew that if I didn't speak up right away, I
wouldn't have the nerve to. He actually thought my question was a good
question.
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solution. Author in Doc-To-Help's XML-based editor, Microsoft Word or
HTML and publish to the Web, Help systems or printed manuals. http://www.doctohelp.com
Help & Manual 5: The complete help authoring tool for individual
authors and teams. Professional power, intuitive interface. Write
once, publish to 8 formats. Multi-user authoring and version control! http://www.helpandmanual.com/
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