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Subject:Re: OT: Profanity in the workplace From:Julie Stickler <jstickler -at- gmail -dot- com> To:techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com Date:Thu, 4 Mar 2010 14:37:48 -0500
On Thu, Mar 4, 2010 at 2:16 PM, Kat Kuvinka <katkuvinka -at- hotmail -dot- com> wrote:
> I don't understand how "please don't say that" makes me appear morally superior.
I think that the underlying problem here is respect for others, not
what language you're offended by and not offended by. I work with
someone who doesn't think twice about referring to people and ideas
that he disagrees with as "stupid." I've called him out on it on
more than one occasion, and told him that his judgemental attitudes
are stifling other, less outspoken team members from contributing to
team discussions. And the behavior still persists.
What you've done or said to offend someone is not the issue.
Continuing the behaviour after someone has made you aware of the fact
that they'd like you to stop IS the problem. Many of us would seethe
in silence. If someone has decided that it is enough of an issue for
them that they've asked you to stop doing or saying something, the
very least you can do is respect their wishes and stop.
This is what grown ups do. We negotiate what is acceptable behavior
in a given situation. And the individuals and situations will always
differ, so the negotiations and what is acceptable will always differ.
The response to the request should not change though. It should
always be, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was being offensive. I
won't do it again." And then you try your hardest not to.
(And I caught myself about to use possible profanity right there in
that last sentence! See, I can be trained.)
--
Julie Stickler http://heratech.wordpress.com/
Blogging about Agile and technical writing
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