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"Nice work, but the lack of qualifiers for some of these phrases can lead to ambiguity or awkwardness. Like, whose homework?"
The students' homework. It is a logical implication.
"The context of the secretary phrase change a bit in the rewrite and now raises the question, secretaries should remain calm, when?"
Remain calm at all times. How is that confusing? Leonard's original sentence did not clarify when secretaries should remain calm. Leonard's original sentence said secretaries should keep their tempers in check... I could say the same thing... when?
"When the phrase referred to "his temper" it was clear what the sentence was discussing."
So staying calm has nothing to do with controlling your temper? My sentence has the same meaning with different words.
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+bdavies=imris -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+bdavies=imris -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Lauren
Sent: October-26-12 3:51 PM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: His/Her v. Their
Nice work, but the lack of qualifiers for some of these phrases can lead to ambiguity or awkwardness. Like, whose homework? The context of the secretary phrase change a bit in the rewrite and now raises the question, secretaries should remain calm, when? When the phrase referred to "his temper" it was clear what the sentence was discussing.
Other questions now raised are whose employers? whose tools? whose patients? I think the implied context got too heavy here, where the original text left little for the reader to assume or infer.
On 10/26/2012 1:16 PM, Ben Davies wrote:
> -A good student always does homework.
> -If someone asks you for help, give it.
> -When a customer argues, always agree.
> -A secretary should remain calm.
> -A janitor should respect employers.
> -Every plumber has tools.
> -A nurse should always be kind to patients.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Porrello, Leonard [mailto:lporrello -at- illumina -dot- com] ...
> -A good student always does his homework.
> -If someone asks you for help, give it to him.
> -When a customer argues, always agree with him.
> -A secretary should keep his temper in check.
> -A janitor should respect her employers.
> -Every plumber has her own tools.
> -A nurse should always be kind to his patients.
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