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On a side note, why does your style guide avoid "you", and how would you rewrite your examples without resorting to the passive voice? (Disclaimer: I have nothing against the passive voice when it is used judiciously, and am not looking to debate the issue.)
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Anonymous
Sent: Tuesday, June 25, 2013 7:35 AM
To: Techwr-l
Subject: Advice on rewriting translated ops manuals
Anonymous has a new challenge, and asks for the list's advice on handling.
Please make your replies directly to the list, as they cannot be forwarded.
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Greetings,
I need some advice.
I've been asked to review and edit some Ops manuals from our Chinese tech pubs department for a product we will be selling domestically. It appears that the manual was written in Chinese and then translated into English. It is in bad shape. I don't have access to their style guide, but I've noticed that they use the pronoun "you" in their manuals and we don't in our manuals. For example, "Use [Quick Admit] only if you do not have the time or information to fully admit a patient. " and "You can transfer a patient with an XYZ or ABC to a new location without re-entering the patient demographic information or changing the settings. "
They also use "will" throughout the manual and we do not. For example, "Select a patient and then click [Import]. Then the monitor *will* update the information for the corresponding patient." We would write, "Select a patient and then click [Import]. The monitor updates the information for the corresponding patient."
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