Re: Creative Labeling

[Hannah Drake <hannah -at- formulatrix -dot- com>]

Not sure who collected them... but I got this particular list from here:
http://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/doomed

I saw this shortly after... and this I think is what the standard should be
for documentation. Oh, and you should also send it *immediately *to any
expecting and/or new parents:
http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/575675/1054232.jpg


On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 7:48 PM, Kathleen MacDowell <kathleen -dot- eamd -at- gmail -dot- com
> wrote:

> Those are incredibly funny!
>
> Who collected them and shall we do a pool on the % of real ones?
>
> Kathleen
>
>
> On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 12:19 PM, Hannah Drake <hannah -at- formulatrix -dot- com>wrote:
>
>> To keep the merriment going:
>>
>>
>> On Sears hair dryer:
>> *Do not use while sleeping.*
>>
>> On a bag of Fritos:
>> *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.*
>>
>>
>> On a bar of Dial soap:
>> *Directions: Use like regular soap.*
>>
>> On some Swanson frozen dinners:
>> *Serving suggestions: Defrost.*
>>
>>
>> Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
>> *Do not turn upside down.*
>>
>> On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
>> *Product will be hot after heating.*
>>
>> On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
>> *Do not iron clothes on body.*
>>
>> On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
>> *Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.*
>>
>> On Nytol Sleep Aid:
>> *Warning: May cause drowsiness.*
>>
>> On most brands of Christmas lights:
>> *For indoor or outdoor use only.*
>>
>> On a Japanese food processor:
>> *Not to be used for the other use.*
>>
>> On Sainsbury's peanuts:
>> *Warning: Contains nuts.*
>>
>> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
>> *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.*
>>
>> On a child's Superman costume:
>> *Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.*
>>
>>
>> On a Swedish chain saw:
>> *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.*
>>
>> On a toboggan:
>> *Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.*
>>
>> On a knife sharpener:
>> *Caution: knives are sharp.*
>>
>> On shin pads for cyclists:
>> *Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.*
>>
>>
>> On a take away coffee cup:
>> *Caution: Hot beverages are hot.*
>>
>> Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
>> *In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill
>> quickly.*
>>
>>
>> In a microwave oven manual:
>> *Do not use for drying pets.*
>>
>> On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
>> *Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.*
>>
>>
>> On the bottom of a cola bottle:
>> *Do not open here.*
>>
>>
>> On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
>> *This broom does not actually fly.*
>>
>> On a box of aspirin:
>> *Do not take if allergic to aspirin.*
>>
>>
>> On a bottle of laundry detergent:
>> *Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.*
>>
>> On a muffin packet:
>> *Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.*
>>
>>
>> In a kettle instruction manual:
>> *The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON'
>> position.*
>>
>> On a ketchup bottle:
>> *Instructions: Put on food.*
>>
>> On a bottle of rum:
>> *Open bottle before drinking.*
>>
>> A car park sign:
>> *Entrance only. Do not enter.*
>>
>> A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
>> *Beware of people.*
>>
>>
>> Rules on a tram in Prague:
>> *Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will
>> be persecuted.*
>>
>>
>> Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
>> *Take care: new non-slip surface.*
>>
>> On a can of air freshener:
>> *For use by trained personnel only.*
>>
>> On a bottle of baby lotion:
>> *Keep away from children.*
>>
>>
>> On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
>> *Do not wash.*
>>
>>
>> On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
>> *Some assembly required.*
>>
>>
>> On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
>> *May irritate eyes.*
>>
>> On a Frisbee:
>> *Warning: may contain small parts.*
>>
>> In a car handbook:
>> *In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close
>> doors.*
>>
>>
>> On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
>> *Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.*
>>
>> Directions for mosquito repellant:
>> *Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.*
>>
>>
>> On a birthday card for a one year old:
>> *Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.*
>>
>> In a hotel bedroom:
>> *Please do not turn on TV except when in use.*
>>
>>
>> In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
>> *Push this button in case anything happens.*
>>
>>
>> On a toilet cleaning brush:
>> *Do not use orally.*
>>
>>
>> On a can of Spray paint:
>> *Do not spray in your face.*
>>
>> On a TV remote:
>> *Not Dishwasher safe.*
>>
>> On a blowtorch:
>> *Not used for drying hair.*
>>
>> On a washing machine inn a launderette:
>> *No small children.*
>>
>>
>> On a bottle of hair dye:
>> *Do not use as Ice Cream topping.*
>>
>>
>> On a push along lawn mower:
>> *Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.*
>>
>>
>> On a box of fireworks:
>> *Do not put in mouth.*
>>
>> On the packaging for a wrist watch:
>> *Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.*
>>
>> In a dishwasher manual:
>> *Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.*
>>
>> On a toaster:
>> *Do not use underwater.*
>>
>> On a mattress:
>> *Do not attempt to swallow.*
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 1:13 PM, <Brian -dot- Henderson -at- mitchell1 -dot- com> wrote:
>>
>> > Anybody who insists on more information than that is a lawyer.
>> > (and is thereby unqualified to impart useful instruction)
>> >
>> > -----Original Message----- From: Steven  Janoff
>> >
>> > This on a package of athletic tape:
>> >
>> > "HOW TO APPLY: The sticky side sticks and the other side doesn't. Tear
>> it,
>> > cut it, use it."
>> >
>> > And at the bottom:
>> >
>> > "WARNING: Don't apply tape directly to an open wound (ow). If your limb
>> > turns an unnatural color and hurts...it's too tight. Quick! Loosen it!"
>> >
>> > --
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> > New! Doc-to-Help 2013 features the industry's first HTML5 editor for
>> > authoring.
>> >
>> > Learn more: http://bit.ly/ZeOZeQ
>> >
>> > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> >
>> > You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as
>> hannah -dot- drake -at- formulatrix -dot- com -dot- 
>> >
>> > To unsubscribe send a blank email to
>> > techwr-l-leave -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
>> >
>> >
>> > Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-  Visit
>> > http://www.techwhirl.com/email-discussion-groups/ for more resources
>> and
>> > info.
>> >
>> > Looking for articles on Technical Communications?  Head over to our
>> online
>> > magazine at http://techwhirl.com
>> >
>> > Looking for the archived Techwr-l email discussions?  Search our public
>> > email archives @ http://techwr-l.com/archives
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Hannah L. Drake
>> Lead Technical Documentation Specialist
>> Formulatrix, Inc.
>>
>> 781-788-0228 x137 (office)
>> 617-610-6456 (cell)
>> hannah.drake.formulatrix (skype)
>>
>>
>> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> New! Doc-to-Help 2013 features the industry's first HTML5 editor for
>> authoring.
>>
>> Learn more: http://bit.ly/ZeOZeQ
>>
>> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>
>> You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as kathleen -dot- eamd -at- gmail -dot- com -dot- 
>>
>>
>> To unsubscribe send a blank email to
>> techwr-l-leave -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
>>
>>
>> Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-  Visit
>> http://www.techwhirl.com/email-discussion-groups/ for more resources and
>> info.
>>
>> Looking for articles on Technical Communications?  Head over to our
>> online magazine at http://techwhirl.com
>>
>> Looking for the archived Techwr-l email discussions?  Search our public
>> email archives @ http://techwr-l.com/archives
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Kathleen MacDowell
> kathleen -dot- eamd -at- gmail -dot- com
>



-- 
Hannah L. Drake
Lead Technical Documentation Specialist
Formulatrix, Inc.

781-788-0228 x137 (office)
617-610-6456 (cell)
hannah.drake.formulatrix (skype)


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
New! Doc-to-Help 2013 features the industry's first HTML5 editor for authoring.

Learn more: http://bit.ly/ZeOZeQ

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- 

To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-leave -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com


Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-  Visit
http://www.techwhirl.com/email-discussion-groups/ for more resources and info.

Looking for articles on Technical Communications?  Head over to our online magazine at http://techwhirl.com

Looking for the archived Techwr-l email discussions?  Search our public email archives @ http://techwr-l.com/archives