Wanted: Examples of poor English from Japanese

[David Oberstadt <daveo -at- VNET -dot- IBM -dot- COM>]

A colleague of mine is working in Japan developing courses and
textbooks for IBM and the Japan STC. He pleads...

==============================================================
I need a multitude of examples of poor, unidiomatic English
written by native Japanese.

Just a few words in defense of the writers of these gems.  They have
attempted to write in an international language (English) that is about
as different from their own as any two languages can be.  Most E1Lers
who have laughed (or sneered) at this writing would not be able to write
a single intelligible thought in Japanese.

I want to collect as many humorous examples as I can, but I'm also
*very* interested in examples of miscommunication that led to tragedy
or litigation.  Of course. I see quite a few malaprops here, but I bet
many of you have some delightful or exasperating examples you would like
to share.
==============================================================

If you have real examples of errors native Japanese speakers
have while trying to communicate in English, please send
them to me. (Thank you!) I'll forward them.

I don't follow TECHWR-L closely, so I'll emphasize that...* TO ME *

Thanks.


David Oberstadt                                daveo -at- vnet -dot- ibm -dot- com

Data Management/User Technology
Santa Teresa Laboratory, San Jose, California