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Ellen Adams
ellena -at- tolstoy -dot- sc -dot- ti -dot- com
Texas Instruments
Houston, TX
From a Dr. Pepper bottle: "Warning: Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off
causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from people, especially while
opening."
From a kid's Halloween costume (Superman): Stitched into the cape is a tag
saying "Warning: Use of This Device Does Not Enable Wearer To Fly."
On bag of cat litter:
"Johnny Cat is the best value for your money. A 20 lb.
bag of Johnny Cat contains 25% more litter than 16 lb. bags, and 43% more than
14 lb. bags!" Other important information from the bag: "100% natural clay
mined from a rare deposit makes Johnny Cat especially absorbent."
"Other Uses" of Johnny Cat include: "Garage Spills: sweeps up oil and
grease and reduces stains" "Trash Cans: a layer on the bottom reduces odors and
discourages flies" "Refrigerators: an inexpensive nontoxic odor absorbent"
"Gardens: enhances water retention and soil aeration, promotes growth."
From a Pop-Tart (tm) box: "Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated"
From hair blow-dryer documentation: "Warning: Do Not Use While Sleeping"
On the package for Top Cog (tm) fan belts (automotive use): the first step of
the instructions: "Do not change the belt while the engine is running."
Found on the inside of a pull top lid of a liquid radiator sealant:
"Caution: Do not lick lid."
From the Indigo Owners Manual p. 6-9: "Hardware Dos and Don'ts" ... Do not
dangle the mouse by its cable or throw mouse at co-workers.
On a cloth roller towel dispenser, commonly seen in restrooms:
Warning! Improper use may cause serious injury or death!
