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A mission statement is important, and you have good ideas.
Improve the connections between the general statement and the specific
statements. For example, the general statement doesn't say "Customer Needs"
explicitly, but that is one of the specific statements. The term appears in
the specific statement for "Excellent Service," but I looked for it first in
the general statement.
Change "which" to "that" in the specific statement for "Customer Needs."
Lose all the colons.
Otherwise, "blue-sky" is as "blue-sky" does.
Good Luck,
Loren
lfc -at- sol -dot- chinalake -dot- navy -dot- mil