Trouble working with a SME

["Melinda M. Carr" <melindac -at- CAPSOFT -dot- COM>]

Okay, I need a reality check. I have been at this company for almost
three years and have never had any trouble working with the programmers
before, but now my manager and I find ourselves head-to-head with one
programmer far too often.

The crux of the matter is that he likes to review the documentation (okay
so far); make copious suggestions on technical matters, organization,
word choice, writing style (sometimes annoying but still okay), almost
all followed by exclamation points (definitely annoying but bearable);
and receive an explanation for each suggestion that we do not implement
(???). It has never been our standard practice to provide feedback to
reviewers on why we don't take some suggestions. My gut reaction is that
this is a bad idea (in part because explanations when given are rarely
accepted and usually spawn a long e-mail exchange designed to convince me
that he is right), but I want to make sure I am looking at this
objectively. He has told us that he considers us rude and disrepectful
because we don't provide this feedback.

Any comments or suggestions would be very welcome.

Melinda (melindac -at- capsoft -dot- com)