HUMOR: Support hell

[Kris Olberg <kjolberg -at- IX -dot- NETCOM -dot- COM>]

>>So you think you're computer-illiterate?  Check out the  following
>>excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton --
>>
>>1.  Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
>>"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the
>>"Any" key is.
>>
>>2.  AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
>>hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be
>>the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
>>
>>3.  Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
>>that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old
>>diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to
>>diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the
>>diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
>>
>>4.  Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
>>diskettes.  A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
>>with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
>>
>>5.  A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
>>back in the drive and close the door.  The customer asked the tech to
>>hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting  up and
>>crossing the room to close the door to his room.
>>
>>6.  Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
>>to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
>>discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
>>front of the monitor  screen and hitting the "send" key.
>>
>>7.  Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
>>Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead.  "Yeah, I got me a
>>couple of friends, "the customer replied.  When told Egghead was a
>>software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find
>>a couple of geeks."
>>
>>8.  Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
>>longer worked.  He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
>>water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
>>and washing them individually.
>>
>>9.  A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
>>because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid".  The
>>tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
>>responses shouldn't be taken personally.
>>
>>10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
>>her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
>>plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the
>>power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal
>>and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned  out to be the
>>computer's mouse.
>>
>>11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
>>computer wouldn't work.  She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it
>>in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
>>asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
>>power switch?"
>>
>>12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
>>
>>Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
>>
>>Tech:   "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
>>
>>Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
>>period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
>>
>>Tech:  "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
>>
>>Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
>>
>>Tech:   "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped.  It's because I am.
>>Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How
>>did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
>>
>>Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
>>promotional.  It just has '4X' on it."
>>
>>At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't
>>stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
>>drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

Regards...Kris
--------------------------------
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