Malapropisms

[Jason Willebeek-LeMair <jlemair -at- ITEXCHSRV2 -dot- PHX -dot- MCD -dot- MOT -dot- COM>]

My holiday gift to all of you.  Mangled language to give you chuckle.

These are all in the spirit of fun and frivolity.  If any of my current
coworkers or managers subscribe to the list FEAR NOT!!  These come from
several jobs ago.

<humor>
1.  "...the department will not be downsizing but will lose employees
through nutrition..."

Well, the cafeteria food was not that bad!

2.  "Let me preposition what Mark is saying..."

Thank goodness he didn't proposition what Mark was saying -- there
coulda been a lawsuit.

3.  "...the company will not be looking for an escape goat..."

'Course not.  They all escaped.

4.  And finally, my favorite transcripts from a telephone conversation
(names have been changed to protect the ignorant):

Caller:  "How do you spell Pacific?"

Writer:  "Uh, P - A - C - I -F - I -C."

Caller (angrily):  "No, not like the ocean.  Like 'I want that pacific
document.'"

Writer:  "Oh, that would be S - P - E - C - I - F - I - C."

Caller (mollified, now):  "Oh, thank you.  I did not realize that it
started with an 'S'.  No wonder I couldn't find it in the dictionary."

Writer (feeling a touch mischievous):  "That's okay, it's a common
mistake because the 'S' is silent."
</humor>

Jason

	http://www.documentation.com/, or http://www.dejanews.com/