Re: Style and Brevity in steps (long)

[Shannon White <shannonwhite -at- YAHOO -dot- COM>]

In the spirit of clear communication, I try to make statements like
these into 2 short steps so that the reader who won't go beyond the
first few words actually sees them all.

Ex:

1.  Align sights on the target.

2.  Squeeze trigger.

That makes both steps apparent, and also cuts the word count from 11
to 7.  Gore would be proud.




---"Hutchings, Christa" <cwhutchings -at- HOMEWIRELESS -dot- COM> wrote:
>
> Bill -
>
> We just recently went through a discussion of this on the list (you
> might could locate it in the archives under the subject heading
"grammar
> survey").
>
> Basically, most folks felt that you should put the condition first
> because many users don't read the entire sentence.
>
> For instance, if you write: "Squeeze the trigger when the sights are
> aligned with the target," how many users will see only "squeeze the
> trigger" and fire away w/o lining up their shot properly?
>
> On the other hand, "When the sights are aligned with the target,
squeeze
> the trigger," makes it pretty clear that the user should not shoot
until
> his gun is pointed at the target!
>
> A somewhat dramatic example, but it does get the point across!
>
> Regards,
>
> Chris Welch-Hutchings
> Sr. Technical Writer
> Home Wireless Networks, Inc.
> cwhutchings -at- homewireless -dot- com
>
>
> Send commands to listserv -at- listserv -dot- okstate -dot- edu (e.g., SIGNOFF
TECHWR-L)
> Find TECHWR-L-related books at
http://www.raycomm.com/techwhirl/books.htm
>
>
>

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