Re: repetitive text and voice

[Scott Miller <smiller -at- CORP -dot- PORTAL -dot- COM>]

I have to agree with the judges. In a brochure like this, the
information is not something you're going to sink into like a warm bath
and stay a while. You just want to get in and out as fast as possible to
find the REAL information. So, providing a consistent wording for each
paragraph makes it easier and quicker to read. By the third description,
your mind simply zips over it.

However, if you're constantly changing the wording, your mind recognizes
something new, and has to figure out if there is any new meaning behind
this new wording. For example, when faced with "In this section..."
versus "In this category..." is there a meaningful difference between
sections and categories? Am I more interested in a category? Is a
category built from sections, or vice-versa?

With all these different wordings, I get the impression that you have a
sort of raggedy set of documents. Some are sections, some are
categories, some are "research," some are areas... Yikes. I picture a
set of documents of wildly different formats, sizes, and content
delivery. With this much variety, some sections, I imagine, are better
than others. This makes me wonder: When I access a section, will it be a
good section, or a bad one? Then I begin questioning the quality of the
whole darn database.

Well. You try to write something that isn't boring, and look what
happens. In this case, boring is OK. The reader isn't going to be around
long enough to get bored.

- Scott Miller
smiller -at- portal -dot- com

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> In this past year's STC publications competition, some of the judges
> objected to this "shifting voice".
>