ADMIN: Why's the Listowner a Jerk?*

["Eric J. Ray" <ejray -at- RAYCOMM -dot- COM>]

Gang,

I often get messages asking (sometimes directly, sometimes
indirectly, sometimes directly and more forcefully) why I'm
such a jerk about topical postings, being nice, long quotes,
and other issues. Rather than trying to explain why, I'm
enclosing a message from a former TECHWR-L subscriber.
This individual (who gave permission for this to be posted)
has a ton of relevant experience and made some very
substantive, well-thought-out, valuable postings to the
list (ala Arlen Walker or Elna Tymes). However, we
won't be benefiting from this person's contributions any
more.  (I have additional comments at the end of this
note.)

>From:  <snip>
>To: <ejray -at- raycomm -dot- com>
>Subject: Signing off
>
>Eric -
>
>Actually, I felt like there was no room for me in the list after receiving a number of
>insulting offline responses to a message I posted.
>
>This list was recommended to me by a fellow writer, who told me that if I "sifted" a
>lot, I could find some good information about tech writing, help authoring, etc.
>
>Sadly, what I have found in most of my "sifting" is a lot of arrogance and snottiness.
>This is to be expected, I believe, from many people--especially when they can post
>whatever they like. Despite recent entreaties from you (I believe) to "be nice," people
>still snip at one another incessantly over the most trivial things. There appear to be a
>number of know-it-alls lurking in the group, who lash out--or at least feel compelled to
>make snide remarks--any time they disagree with someone or believe they've found a
>minor error in a posting, as though they cannot make errors themselves. The level of
>smugness in the group, albeit from a minority of users who post very frequently, is
>stifling enough to make me want to leave.
>
>To the list's credit, I have found some helpful (or thought-provoking) posts.
>But the truly informative posts seem to be outweighed by the posts of members who
>wish only to vent, voice their opinions, and insult others.
>
>I probably should not have posted any messages to the group. Well, live and learn.
>But the question I answered was "right up my alley;" heck, I've been in <snip>
>in one capacity or another for a decade. If anyone on the list was qualified to respond
>intelligently, it was me. And, frankly, my posting was complete, correct, and carefully
>worded so not to offend anyone.

<Eric's note: The accuracy, tone and credibility of the postings is accurately described
        here.>

>But that wasn't good enough for some members, <SNIP>
>So they speak out of school, and some even attacked me personally for "defending"
>the soulless corporate tyrants who would take food from their mouths.
>
>Well, screw them.
>
>I realize you do not have absolute control over the content of the postings in the list. >Your only total control would be censorship, and nobody wants that--especially me. So, >I'll just stop participating, and let the tech writing listserv members eat one another.
>
>Best of luck to you. I admire your patience and tolerance.

I've done my homework on this one, and there's no question about the
facts and case as stated in this message. Frankly, that's a shame.

There's no reason that having an extraordinarily thick skin should be
a prerequisite for posting to this list.

If I could find some way to rationalize (to myself) that it should
be OK to police _off-line_ messages, I'd permanently remove
several people from the list (each of whom is a repeat offender
who generates multiple complaints each week to me about
offline or online behavior). Unfortunately, I cannot rationalize
that, so I'm left with no choice but to let it slide and hope
(undoubtedly in vain) that the offenders will recognize
themselves in this message and change their ways.

To everyone: Closely look at the messages you send, both
on and off-line, and see if this message described you.
Ask your friends if you're not sure.

To people who don't post because of the behavior described
in the message above: I've no hope to offer you--some
list members will undoubtedly make you feel lousy for
anything you post. All I can do is encourage you to post
anyway, delete the rude messages without response, and
generally treat the people who send these messages as you'd
treat any other rude, insecure bully. And if you need
sympathy, I can assure you that I get easily as many rude
ones....

Food for thought...please don't discuss this on the list,
but I'd welcome off-list comments.
Eric

* Deb gets credit for the subject line, although it had to be
  edited for family viewing.






*********************************************************
* Eric J. Ray, ejray -at- raycomm -dot- com, http://www.raycomm.com/
* TECHWR-L Listowner, co-author _Mastering HTML 4.0_
*   _HTML 4 for Dummies Quick Reference_, and others.
* See our overhauled Web site at http://www.raycomm.com


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