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Subject:Re: Some Help With Re-phrasing From:"Porrello, Leonard" <leonard -dot- porrello -at- COMPAQ -dot- COM> Date:Thu, 22 Oct 1998 06:58:18 -0700
Deborah,
In the case you mention, try switching to the imperative voice, something
like the following:
"While the Summary window is displayed, double-click any entry shown in the
Summary window to cause the system to display a new Job View window."
The passive voice isn't always a bad thing. To switch the dependent clause
("While the Summary window is displayed. . .") to the active voice ("While
the system displays the Summary window. . .") draws unnecessary attention to
the system. The attention is most likely unnecessary because that the system
executes actions is most likely a given.
You may even want to omit the initial dependant clause and put your
directions, along with any others that have to do with what one can do from
the Summary window, under a heading, "Things that you can do when the
Summary window is displayed."
Leonard Porrello
Compaq, Telecom Network Solutions
Pubs, Omaha
402.384.7390
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Deborah Cooper
> Sent: Thursday, October 22, 1998 8:33 AM
> To: TECHWR-L -at- LISTSERV -dot- OKSTATE -dot- EDU
> Subject: Some Help With Re-phrasing
>
> While the Summary window is displayed, you can double-click
> any entry shown in the Summary window. This action causes
> the system to display a new Job View window for this job.
