Re: SATIRE: Degrees

[Robert Bennett <RBENNETT -at- TECHDATA -dot- COM>]

Andrew,

I suspect that your Associate's degree in HVAC is not entirely
satirical.  The truth you tell in jest is that, to do this work well,
one must enjoy knowing and explaining how things work.  Similar
education and experience appear on my resume:

Three gold stars from Margaret McTaggart's high school torture session
in sentence diagramming (trees are for sissies).

SBC (Smile of Benevolent Condescension) from Prof. George Dulk's
Institute of Freshman Astronomy and Cosmology.  The cosmology is key
here; it teaches one early-on that absolutely nothing matters, is
matter, or will be matter for long.  (I always figured that Carl Sagan
was the ultimate technical writer on the ultimate assignment...)

Certificate from the Hard Knocks School of Block-Cave Molybdenum Mining
with focus on timed blasting and muck-hauling.

Successful completion of the Howard Chappel Correspondence School in
Wooden Boat Building and Restoration, major in Lofting.

CWT (Cussing and Wrench-Throwing) certificate in marine diesel
mechanics.

I suppose one could perform adequately without this kind of background,
but it takes complete soul-level immersion to make an art of it!

Go ahead, hospitalize me.  Just let me bring my laptop.

Bob


> ----------
> From:         Andrew Plato[SMTP:intrepid_es -at- YAHOO -dot- COM]
> Reply To:     Andrew Plato
> Sent:         Wednesday, December 09, 1998 6:07 PM
> To:   TECHWR-L -at- LISTSERV -dot- OKSTATE -dot- EDU
> Subject:      SATIRE: Degrees
>
> I feel that everyone should have degrees like mine:
>
> AA - Refrigeration and HVAC "The DeYank Institute"
> BS - Binge drinking and unprotected sex, Chico State
> MA - Advanced Pettiness, Arman Oomang's Technical Communicators
> Institute of Battle Axe, MI.
>
> My doctoral thesis is on "Communication and the Pro-active Synergies
> of Leveraged Dynamic Paradigms - a Comparative Study of Interstitial
> Inseparatism in Internet Retroreguratorialism." In this I careful
> demonstrate how the Internet has changed the universe and allows
> people to more effectively express their childish needs and desires.
>
> I have also attended the following meaningful seminars:
>
> Jack Tortallini's "Brain Blow '96 - How to Make Others Quiver in Fear
> at your Immense Superiority."
>
> Mike Nucklerammer's Communicative Seminar of Technical Communication
> "Why does the font shrink."
>
> The Ramrod Institute "Technology Seminar Series - How to Use a
> Pushbutton."
>
> Society of Internet Thinkers "The Exciting World of Perl."
>
> The Secaucus Seminar Series "The Mysteries of the Briny Deep and Other
> Ways to Spice-Up your On-Line Help Systems."
>
> Franz Xavier's "Nasty things your boss is doing to you right now!"
>
> Andrew Plato's Deep and Meaningful Seminar Series "Watch me Break
> Something Valuable."
>
> Personally, I believe a good background in refrigeration is the key to
> a writer's ability to document complex things.  I know many of you
> aspiring writers need the guidance of a brilliant mind like mine.
>
>
> .............................................
> :-) Smile, Scully and Mulder are at the door.
>
> - Andrew Plato
>
>
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