OT? Ode to Word

[Jacque Foreman <foremangraphics -at- JUNO -dot- COM>]

Hi All -

I have just finished a document for a client who had to have it done in
Word so he could modify it at his office. It took approximately 20 hours
to do what would have taken at most 1-1/2 hour if I had created it in
either PageMaker or Quark.

I wish I could write a humorous story, but, alas my mind doesn't seem to
work that way. So instead I am sharing this cathartic poem that was
wrought out of frustration. If you like it, I also write rhyming speaker
introductions. --Enjoy!

Ode to Word

Doing things in Word is easy they say
     But after working with it, I don't see it that way.
Someone has decided just how things should look
     After searching and searching, there's no clue in the book.

I finally, after hours, get things just where I want
     And when I look back, where it was, it is not.
I look around, and as I'm beginning to rage,
     I find the copy -- Word made a new page.

I didn't ask it to alter my copy or think
     But the wizard did this without even a wink.
So I look in the book and follow directions
     To keep Word from making unwanted corrections.

But nothing does work as the book says it will.
     The frames and their copy won't seem to stay still.
They jump around for no rhyme and no reason;
     Try as I might there is no way to freeze'em.

But I, who can make PageMaker and Quark jump through hoops
     Find Word undecipherable and made up of loops
That allow copy in frames to jump all over the place
     And move in a flash into undesigned space.

So it is thus that much of my time is wasted
     On documents where parts don't stay pasted
In this program I find to be so absurd;
     Known to all as Microsoft Word.

Jacque, Foreman Graphics - c1999

Jacque - Graphic Designer / Typesetter - Excellence by Design
since 1972 - Pen & Ink Renderings of homes & Bldgs. & portraits from
photos, Brochures, Ads, Flyers, Packaging, Business Forms, Manuscripts,
etc. - Amway Dealer - email: foremangraphics -at- juno -dot- com
Rendering Samples: http://www.abacus-es.com/foreman

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