Re: Simplified English (was Concordance Tools, Simplified

[Jill Clay <JILL_CLAY -at- NON-HP-PALOALTO-OM8 -dot- OM -dot- HP -dot- COM>]

Item Subject: Simplified English (was Concordance Tools, Simplified English,
etc.)
     Poppy,
     Sorry to take so long to reply - extremely busy!

     The AECMA SE version I evaluated has a 1998 copyright. And yes, I did
     evaluate it (I note your quotation marks) for the purposes of my
     particular writing group. The number on the doc is PSC-85-16598.

     I have many, many examples of AECMA's weaknesses and ways that it
     forces the writer to be wordier and use less active, and sometimes
     passive, voice.

     Re: The one you commented on, forbidding use of "test" as a verb - I
     remembered incorrectly about the exact recommendation SE makes, but
     you reminded me. "Do a test" sounds terrible to me. It is not as
     direct or as active-voice as "Test the..."  Any English speaker knows
     about the imperative form, and that rarely, if ever, do we begin a
     sentence with a singular noun. In other words, when would we begin a
     sentence with Test if it were NOT a verb? I cannot think of an
     instance. Tests, plural, can begin a sentence, but English speakers
     should know that Tests, plural, is a noun. There is no ambiguity, even
     for translators, that I can see. A translator's job is to know the
     accepted construction of a sentence in the language s/he is
     translating from or to.
     In fact, "Do" as a verb is vague, and I should think it would "do a
     disservice" to translators to change "Test the ..." to "Do a test..."

     Here are a few other examples from AECMA SE, *1998 version*.

     In Rule 2.2, discussing using hyphens to clarify noun clusters, SE
     actually recommends the following phrase.
     Main-gear inboard-door retraction-winch handle

     I can see how hyphens help clarify noun clusters, but writers should
     avoid having three in a row - I laughed when I read that one.

     In Rule 2.3, SE recommends this sentence:
     SOlvents used in these repairs can cause damage to paint.

     <my comment> It is more succinct to write:
     SOlvents used in these repairs might damage paint.

     In Rule 4.2, SE recommends the following example, really:
     Warning: ... A pressurized system can cause injury to persons when
     they do work on it.

     <my comment>This example is especially bad!  My rewrite would be "A
     pressurized system can cause injury." (some will prefer "might" to
     "can")

     In Rule 4.3, here is a procedural list that SE recommends.
     When the landing gear retracts:
     1) The door-operating bar on the leg touches and turns the latch.
     2) This causes the roller to move...
     3) The second roller holds the door...

     <my comment>The above is called unparallel construction. All bullets
     or steps must have the same sentence construction. For example, you
     could write
      1) The ...bar ...turns the latch
       2) The first roller moves...
       3) The second roller holds the door...

     There are so many other examples, and I'm too tired to list them and
     don't want to bore other list-readers with them. I will comment,
     however, that if easy translation is one goal, SE might want to add
     guidelines on the use of ambiguous words like "once" or "since" - in
     tech writing we say "when" or "after", or "because", respectively.

     The reason I am replying to the list in this instance is to see if
     others in the software industry will challenge and educate me. I will
     post no more to the list on this issue.

     Thank you
     Jill Clay

     PS Poppy, if you really want a full critique on this, I have a Word
     file I can send you. Let me know if you'd like me to send it.

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Subject: Simplified English (was Concordance Tools, Simplified Engl
Author:  Non-HP-poppy-q (poppy_q -at- HOTMAIL -dot- COM) at HP-PaloAlto,shargw3
Date:    7/26/99 4:57 PM

This is in response to Jill Clay's message of Thu, 22 Jul 1999 15:03:31

Jill,

Re: AECMA SE you wrote:

>...I evaluted the AECMA Simplfied English manual and dictionary,...

Jill, which version did you "evaluate"? Based on what you are saying here,
it sounds like you are not looking at a current document. You should be
looking at Rev. 1, Issue 1 (dated 15 Jan 98) or Issue 1 (dated 15 Sep 95).

>I am surprised that no one mentioned its LACK of applicability to
> >software.

The SE standard is constantly being reviewed and revised based on the needs
of the industry (aerospace). We are presently working on high tech.
terminology (including computer terminology). However, since this CL is
specifically for the aerospace industry, I do not think it will ever
completely satisfy strictly computer-oriented users.

>The manual itself is horribly written, ...
We are open to constructive criticism. Can you give us some examples please?

>... and some of its rules would force you to use passive voice or >become
>wordier.

This would happen only if the user did not understand and apply the writing
rules correctly. On the contrary, used correctly, SE makes the writer
eliminate the passive voice and write shorter, clearer sentences.

>Also, it applies to *the aerospace industry*, which is VERY >different from
>the software industry - especially in terms of "end >users" - we have
>military-types versus the masses out there who use >any kind of software.

The AECMA SE standard was developed for use in the aerospace industry
(originally for mainframe manufacture only). It has been used by many other
industries as the "basis" for their own controlled English.

>For example, SE has a real problem with the use of verbs. I say, if a
>word like "Test" is at the beginning of a sentence, *it's probably a
>verb!*

Keep in mind that controlled English exists for two main reasons: the first
and foremost (at least as far as AECMA SE is concerned)is to facilitate
understanding (in English) by non-native English speakers! Thus, although it
may work for you to safely "assume" that a word like "Test" at the beginning
of a sentence is automatically a verb, this would not work for many people
whose mother tongue has syntax that is very different from English.
The second purpose of any controlled language is to facilitate translation.
One word = one meaning (one part of speech), etc.

>SE forbids the use of Test as a verb.

True.

>Instead of "Test [the software]," it recommends "Perform a test on ..."
Again, I am very concerned about what source you are getting this
information from. I am certain it is not the AECMA SE Guide! The verb
"perform" is also not allowed in SE. Below is the actual entry for TEST (v)
from the current version of the SE Guide:

perform (v)
[lowercase indicates that it is NOT Allowed as a verb]

DO or other commanding verb construction
[the word in upper case is a suggested alternative]

DO THE LEAK TEST.
[example of correct usage]

Perform leak test.
Perform measurement of voltage between pins A and B.
[examples of incorrect usage]

>It drives me crazy and I cannot believe anyone out there is >recommending
>it!

Sorry to hear that. But don't let it get to you. It sounds like you have
received incorrect information (you are not looking at the actual AECMA
document or perhaps you were given one that is very old and outdated -- it's
been around since 1985!). If I were you, I'd do some more research before
giving up on AECMA SE. If you want more information please contact me off
list at
poppy -dot- quintal -at- notes -dot- canadair -dot- ca

Regards,

Poppy Quintal
Technical Editor
(current National Coordinator (Canada)
to the AECMA SE Maintenance Group)

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