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FOR SALE: One methodology, low miles, good transmission (JOKE)
Subject:FOR SALE: One methodology, low miles, good transmission (JOKE) From:Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com> To:techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com Date:Wed, 29 Sep 1999 02:13:29 -0700 (PDT)
I have started a new company called MegaTardis Consulting. We are selling the
newly minted Rational MasterBlaster Tangential Time Consumptive Methodology
(RMTTCM) to the highest bidder:
1. Fiddle with the product.
2. Blab with the engineers.
3. Read materials from similar products.
4. Wander around thinking.
4. Pet the cat
9. Jam a pencil in my ear.
109. Eat some Bean with Bacon soup.
56940. Plant my ass in a chair.
938202883. Bang out a doc.
93920093933992820. Curse at FrameMaker.
6.02 x 10^23. File | Print
e. Submit it for review.
i. Wash the car.
The owner will gain the deep, spiritual satisfaction of owning these time
honored steps to documentation Nirvana. If you act now, you can enroll in one
of our courses taught inconveniently at a bad Howard Johnsons in some small
city in Northern Idaho. Our classes will cover the basics of a business
seminar:
1. Registration and printing of badges customized with a name, possibly yours!
2. Mass consumption of thin, tepid coffee with Cremora-like dust in
hygienically
sealed packets.
3. Waxy pastries filled with translucent jelly-esque slime with embedded
Fruti-Nubs(TM) imitation fruit-like chunks.
4. Out of focus PowerPoint Slides.
5. Inaudible instructors.
6. Reams of paper with text on each page. Some pages have drawings that
look "techie".
7. A segmented pyramid image which summarizes an insanely complex thought into
four bullet points.
8. A blue survey card you can forget to fill out.
9. Opportunities for extra-marital affairs with other conference
attendees. (Only if you purchase the "Executive's Luncheon and
Pre-conference Roman Orgy")*
10. A colorful certificate on VeloLux Imitation Lamb's Skin, hand signed by
someone.
Seminar fees are non-refundable. Complaints are not allowed.
And if you have a lot of money to burn, you can purchase a 1-on-1 coaching
session with me. I'll come to your place of business and make foul noises
while you work. After a day with me bugging you, you'll be so happy to get
back to work you're productivity will soar.
So what the hell are you waiting for. You need this or you and your company
will die. If you are not RMTTCM Level ZX-1 GT Coupe All-Wheel Drive certified
by May 1, 2001 you could be held up to contemptuous ridicule by 3 or 4 people
on the Internet.
Act now! Your documentation projects suck without us!
Andrew Plato
Master Tard
Home of the "MegaTard" and the Rational MasterBlaster Tangential Time
Consumptive Methodology
"You want fries with that?"
* This offer valid in states with lenient fraud laws.
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com
