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As a relatively shy person myself, I can see some of the characteristics
that you describe in this person in myself. I don't often "chat" with my
co-workers for several reasons. Two of which are I'm too busy and I also
don't want to get the reputation with management that I don't do my work.
As far as social things go, sometimes I find myself not talking a great
deal. Lately I haven't gone out to lunch for two reasons, I just had
gastric bypass surgery and I can't eat much of anything except refried beans
at Taco Bell and I am trying to get caught up from being out on sick leave.
When I have gone out in the past, I have been very quiet because I am always
afraid of interrupting someone else. Often the conversation goes too fast
for me to put in any opinion I may have. Also, I don't have any children,
so I really can't participate in the "My kid is doing so and so"
conversations.
The only thing that seems really strange to me is that you say he has
"alienated" the developers. Has he been rude to them? Has he treated them
poorly?
I think I'd be more worried about his ability to keep up with deadlines and
stress to him that developers are our friends :-) and that we do not treat
them bad.
-----Original Message-----
From: Anonymous [mailto:anonfwd -at- raycomm -dot- com]
Sent: Saturday, May 31, 2003 8:18 AM
To: TECHWR-L
Subject: FWD: Getting along despite interpersonal skills
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Forwarded anonymously on request. Please reply to the
list if you want the original poster to see your message. EJR
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The discussion about how to get along with SMEs has been
interesting.
Here's a question for the group: what do you do with a
coworker (writer) who has TERRIBLE interpersonal skills?
This person started working with us about a year and a half
ago. He has managed to aggravate and alienate most of the
developers, who have always been great to work with (for
me).
He cannot seem to work as part of a team at all, seldom
considering when his need to "tweak" one last thing might
cause other team members extra work. He doesn't "chat" with
people unless he wants something from them. He has very poor
social skills. We try to include him in social outings, but
he ends up talking about work or sitting there quietly and
not contributing to conversations.
What do you do with someone like that? Figure they'll learn
in time? How would they learn?
I don't know that I myself will do anything about it, as I
am not his manager, but if I were, I wouldn't know what to
do. So I'm curious: if you managed someone like this, what
would you do?
TIA for ideas,
Anonymous
--
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Forwarded anonymously on request. Please reply to the
list if you want the original poster to see your message. EJR
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