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Subject:RE: Is this too Offensive for a manual? From:"Gilger.John" <JGilger -at- acresgaming -dot- com> To:"TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com> Date:Wed, 19 Nov 2003 08:56:49 -0800
Good writing is clear, concise, and accurate. Your example seems to meet all three criteria.
These are probably the main selling points that your sales staff used to sell the software and the main needs of your client. Leave them in. They clearly communicate the function of your product.
Since you admit that they are absolutely true, there is no problem with these phrases. In fact, compared to the usual mush-mouth phrases, it is refreshing to read.
John
-----Original Message-----
From: Claire Philpott
Dear All,
I am editing a software manual with a target audience of users who are responsible for managing meter readers. This management process uses the various reports and records maintained by the software.
There are some phrases used in reference to the meter readers that make me balk at including them. For example:
Arising from incompetent, lazy or crooked meter readers...
...reward performance and punish incompetence.
In some cases these comments are absolutely true and the cause of significant business losses that the software is used to control. However, I can't help but think it is not necessary to be so blunt.
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