Re: Is this too Offensive for a manual?

["Peter Ring" <prc -at- prc -dot- dk>]

Claire Philpott wrote:

"I am editing a software manual with a target audience of users who are
responsible for managing meter readers. This management process uses the
various reports and records maintained by the software.

There are some phrases used in reference to the meter readers that make
me balk at including them.  For example:

Arising from incompetent, lazy or crooked meter readers..."


Try "Peter's Benefits - Dangers" test, which is a simplified SWOT (Strengths - 
Weaknesses - Opportunities - Threats) analysis for a single decision useful for many 
other purposes, too:

When in doubt of something ask yourself these two main questions:

- What are the potential benefits of doing as proposed?

- What are the potential physical, economical and/or psychological dangers of doing 
as proposed? How serious and irreversible are they? What is the worst case? What 
are the chances they will happen? And finally: can we/they live with them?

In many cases you'll know the answer afterwards. Let's try it on this case:


The benefits are mainly that some people will say: "Hey - they understand our 
problems!". On the other hand: The quality of the software should speak for itself, but 
of course a salesperson could mention the problem orally: "Of course you haven't got 
any problems with incompetent, lazy or crooked meter readers. But if you had...!" 
Then you haven't accused anybody -- but they got the message. That's a part of the 
unofficial sales training, and it's not to be written anywhere!

Result: No real benefits, and no benefits which can't be accomplished by other and 
better means.

How about the dangers then?

A lot of people in the target group will be a little offended, but will THAT endanger 
the sales of the software? Probably not, it may even improve it! "Bad PR is 
sometimes better than no PR." You will be remembered as the people who did 
something about incompetent, lazy or crooked meter readers.

But if it comes to the attention of the meter readers (outside the target group?) -- and 
it will -- you're in deep shit. Buyers of the software may even experience strikes and 
expensive lawsuits. Any clever lawyer can make an honest meter reader say "buying 
this software accuses us for being incompetent, lazy and crooked. We want damage 
compensation." If that happens it will seriously harm your software sales or even stop 
it completely, and it could cost your customers and/or you a lot of money in court. 
How likely is it to happen? Probably much more than 10% because a labour union 
can profile itself on it and lawyer can earn money on it! Can you live with that?

In this case to me there no more doubt. Take it out or rephrase is! Some of the other 
answers has given you good advice here.


Greetings from Denmark
Peter Ring, PRC
E-mail: prc -at- prc -dot- dk
The user-friendly manuals website: http://www.prc.dk/user-friendly-manuals
AcosHelp (context sensitive online help with PDF-files): http://www.acoshelp.com


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