Re: What is wrong with this sentence?

[David Neeley <dbneeley -at- gmail -dot- com>]

Amen to the wordy and ugly!

When you look at a sentence like the original example, ask several questions:

1. Does ABC "provide" anything, or is it the application architects
that do the providing? The most you can say is "ABC has a user
interface that allows you to create folders..."

2. What is the most important aspect to the user? That ABC provides a
user interface? Hardly! Focus, always, on the tasks the *user* can
benefit from and put the benefit up front and center.

David

On 4/14/05, MaggiRos <maggiros -at- yahoo -dot- com> wrote:
> 
> It's just wordy and ugly.
> 
> ABC provides an interface that lets you create folders....
> or
> ABC provides the XYZ interface, which lets you create
> folders...
> 
> Maggie

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

WEBWORKS FINALDRAFT - EDIT AND REVIEW, REDEFINED
Accelerate the document lifecycle with full online discussions and unique feedback-management capabilities. Unlimited, efficient reviews for Word
and FrameMaker authors. Live, online demo:
http://www.webworks.com/techwr-l

---
You are currently subscribed to techwr-l as:
archiver -at- techwr-l -dot- com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to leave-techwr-l-obscured -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Send administrative questions to lisa -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-  Visit
http://www.techwr-l.com/techwhirl/ for more resources and info.