RE: Sentense construction

["Lauren" <lt34 -at- csus -dot- edu>]

Okay. Reverse what I said about active and passive voice.  Really, it's just
the phrase "are the points" that is passive. Also, on second glance, the
comma is only necessary in the second sentence if the context requires a
focus on the meeting.  Without the comma, the focus goes to the points.

Lauren

> -----Original Message-----
> From: techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com 
> [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On 
> Behalf Of Lauren
> Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 10:30 AM
> To: 'Combs, Richard'; 'Hemang Antani'; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Subject: RE: Sentense construction
> 
> Hemang,
> 
> I don't like, and was taught to avoid, leading sentences that 
> end in a colon, unless the bullets complete the leading 
> sentence.  In this case, I would avoid the colon and lead the 
> list with "The points from the meeting follow."
> 
> I would also probably, depending on the context of the 
> document, include some identifier about the meeting in the 
> sentence, whether it is a meeting name or a date.
> 
> Additionally, both of the proposed sentences are acceptable, 
> but sentence 2 does need the comma that Richard pointed out.  
> The differences between the two sentences are that 1 is 
> "active" voice and 2 is "passive" voice.  This is important 
> to know if someone should mention the voice in the document.
> 
> Lauren 
> 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> > [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] 
> On Behalf 
> > Of Combs, Richard
> > Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 7:35 AM
> > To: Hemang Antani; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> > Subject: RE: Sentense construction
> > 
> > Hemang Antani wrote:
> > 
> > > Which of the following sentence construction would be 
> suitable for 
> > > American
> > > readers:
> > > 
> > > (1) Listed below are the points discussed during the meeting.
> > > 
> > > (2) During the meeting we discussed points listed below.
> > 
> > "During the meeting, we discussed:" -- followed by the bullet list.
> > 
> > Discard unnecessary words. :-)
> > 
> > Richard

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