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Subject:RE: active vs. passive voice From:<richard -dot- melanson -at- us -dot- tel -dot- com> To:<Gause_Brian -at- emc -dot- com>, <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com> Date:Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:46:21 -0400
Devils Advocate Warning!
I would argue here that the main function is getting the user to Click <New Entry> not to get the user to display the New Entry window. I said it this way on purpose :-)
Rick
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+richard -dot- melanson=us -dot- tel -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+richard -dot- melanson=us -dot- tel -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Gause_Brian -at- emc -dot- com
Sent: Friday, March 28, 2008 6:18 PM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: active vs. passive voice
This is a lot of discussion for something that should be quite simple.
I would rewrite this sentence:
1. Click <New Entry>. The New Entry window will appear.
Like this:
1. Click <New Entry> to display the New Entry window.
Then it's not passive voice. In fact, it's better! It's a command.
Brian Gause
Technical Writer
EMC Captiva
EMC Corporation
10145 Pacific Heights Blvd.
San Diego, CA 92121
P: 858-320-1202
F: 858-320-1010
E: Gause_Brian -at- emc -dot- com
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+gause_brian=emc -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+gause_brian=emc -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of McLauchlan, Kevin
Sent: Friday, March 28, 2008 1:01 PM
To: Leonard C. Porrello; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: active vs. passive voice
On Behalf Of Leonard C. Porrello objected:
>
> Good question. I was assuming the reader would read both sentences
> before carrying out the directions. In other words, he's going to
read,
> "1. Click <New Entry>. The New Entry window will appear" in its
entirety
> before he gets around to actually clicking <New Entry>. So, the event
> that takes place after he clicks <New Entry> actually occurs in the
> future. Hence, the way I formulated the sentence is most mimetic of
> reality (according to my assumption). And although I do not have
strong
> objections to what I think you are suggesting, namely, "1. Click <New
> Entry>. The New Entry window appears," it seems to me that this
> formulation does not represent reality quite as well (as it is
entirely
> in the present).
I think that inherent in "Click <New Entry>. The New Entry window appears..." carries the unvoiced assumption:
"Click <New Entry> and, as a result, the New Entry window appears..."
Or, consider "Click <New Entry>. The New Entry window appears..." to be the imperative expression of the declarative (and passively aggressive):
"[When you] click <New Entry>, the New Entry window is quickly written
in glowing pixels upon the display device ..." Oh... wait... I was
eliding into another discussion there. Digressing, too.
:-)
Kevin
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