RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

["Lauren" <lauren -at- writeco -dot- net>]

Patricia,

You need to be strong.  This is close to sexual harassment, but it is still
harassment, like when he called your mothering skills into question.  What
you are facing is a hostile work environment.

http://www.fcc.gov/owd/understanding-harassment.html

This is not legal advice, but here is my personal impression.  You need to
decide if you want to pursue this as a hostile work environment situation.
If you do, then you need to *affirmatively* tell your co-worker to stop the
behavior because he is causing a hostile work environment.  You should send
a follow-up email so that you have a dated paper trail.  If he approaches
you in a non-work-related way again, at all, then discuss the matter with
his supervisor *and* with Human Resources.  Also, follow-up this up with
email to the involved parties.  The matter will stop then.

HR does need to be aware of this matter once it is escalated sufficiently,
otherwise you will risk not covering yourself if a manager decides that one
of you needs to be removed from the situation with a job change or
termination.  Anything that HR is not notified about did not happen and
anything you say after the company takes an action that you are not happy
with will have no effect because if it was important, then you would have
said something before the negative action against you occurred.

Lauren



> From: Patricia A

> I find myself in a precarious situation and wondered if you 
> might advise
> me...

> At the risk of sounding full of myself, it is
> embarrassingly obvious to me and to all of my cubicle 
> neighbors that he
> has a crush. 

> I've tried the obvious solutions - excusing myself, running off to
> meetings, picking up the telephone. I was even honest and told him
> outright my sons think his hobby is pretty lame. This was yesterday,
> after the tenth time he brought up the subject. He all but printed out
> resumes for the four people who own the store, explaining 
> that a public
> defender, a published author, a former cop and a computer 
> programmer are
> not nerds.


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