Re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

[Laura Lemay <lemay -at- lauralemay -dot- com>]

john -at- garisons -dot- com wrote:
> Perhaps the LWL (little white lie) is called for: Tell him that you talked
> it over with your sons and your Serious Love Interest, and they you've
> decided as a family that there's just not room in your busy lives for yet
> another time commitment. Perhaps that will get him to realize that the
> object of his affection is not available or interested.

urk.  I disagree.

It doesn't matter if this guy has a crush on Patricia.  It doesn't 
matter if he's just being friendly and clueless, if he's a pedophile, or 
if he thinks she's the lost immortal amazonian princess of Texarkana. 
     She's not interested.  Full stop.  End of story.

Conversely, she doesn't owe him an explanation of why she's not 
interested.  It doesn't need to be that his hobby is lame, that she's 
too busy, that he smells funny, or that as the lost immortal amazonian 
princess of Texarkana she obviously cannot date a mortal human.  She 
isn't interested in any kind of a relationship with him outside of work. 
  Full stop.  End of story.

Answering the question of "why" or offering excuses leads to awkward and 
pushy attempts at persuasion (as she discovered).  There's no reason to 
lie.  He's a grownup.  This is a workplace.  The answer is no.  If that 
doesn't work, say it louder and more often.

If THAT doesn't work, then escalate to management and HR.  But you have 
to start with no.

Laura
not the lost immortal amazonian princess of Texarkana either


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