Re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

["Dana Worley" <dana -at- campbellsci -dot- com>]

On Tuesday, July 29, 2008, Blount, Patricia A wrote: 

> He will not let the matter drop. He presses and pushes and even went so
> far as to call my mothering skills into question, suggesting that I am
> doing my sons a disservice by not forcing them into the shop. It may end
> up broadening their horizons and changing their lives. 
> 
> I've tried the obvious solutions - excusing myself, running off to
> meetings, picking up the telephone. I was even honest and told him
> outright my sons think his hobby is pretty lame. This was yesterday,
> after the tenth time he brought up the subject. He all but printed out
> resumes for the four people who own the store, explaining that a public
> defender, a published author, a former cop and a computer programmer are
> not nerds.


The next time he brings it up, say...

"Look. We have had this discussion before. I have said No. I am not 
interested; my sons are not interested."

"Your continued requests have made me uncomfortable. I feel I am being 
harassed. Please stop this harassment or I will be forced to take this issue 
to management. I do not want to damage our working relationship, but if you 
continue to press this issue I will take whatever actions are necessary to 
stop it myself."

In no way would I EVER tell him "he's such a sweetheart". If he truly has a 
crush and is clueless, this will only encourage his attention. And if he's the 
vindictive sort, he could twist your words around and you might be the one to 
end up on the wrong side of a harassment suit.

As others have said, direct, clear communication is required.  

2 cents,

Dana W.


 

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