RE: Coworker who won't take no...

["Combs, Richard" <richard -dot- combs -at- Polycom -dot- com>]

Blount, Patricia A wrote: 
 
> As the words left his mouth, I frowned. Slowly stood up (I'm taller
than
> he is) with my hands in a STOP gesture. Cut him off with carefully
> chosen words: "<Name>, that subject is closed. I can't make this any
> clearer. My sons have no interest in it. I have no interest in it. I'm
> not discussing it again. Now, unless you have any project work to
> discuss, you'll have to excuse me."
> 
> He put his head down, hurried away. I'm not sure, but I think I saw a
> tremble in his lower lip.
> 
> I'm a mean old lady who most likely doomed herself to an eternity in a
> game store for making this kid cower, but d -at- mn! I feel liberated!
> 
> The guide I wrote goes to him for review on Monday and I'm no longer
> worried about it. If he can't or won't do his job, that's not my
> problem.
> 
> Thank you all for your words of wisdom and caution. This assertiveness
> stuff is hard for me. I worry too much about hurting people's feelings
> but finally realized that's also not my problem.

Bravo! 

For most of us, it's hard not to worry about hurting someone's feelings,
and we don't want to be callous and insensitive. But it's also essential
to realize that you _cannot_ take responsibility for how someone else
feels. Each of us owns and controls (or fails to...) our own feelings. 

When you hold yourself responsible for how someone else feels, you
surrender your psychological independence to them and give them control
over you. So feeling liberated when you take back that control is
exactly appropriate. 

Congratulations on your self-liberation! 

Richard


Richard G. Combs
Senior Technical Writer
Polycom, Inc.
richardDOTcombs AT polycomDOTcom
303-223-5111
------
rgcombs AT gmailDOTcom
303-777-0436
------






^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ComponentOne Doc-To-Help gives you everything you need to author and 
publish quality Help, Web, and print content. Perfect for technical 
authors, developers, and policy writers. Download a FREE trial.
http://www.componentone.com/DocToHelp/

True single source, conditional content, PDF export, modular help.
Help & Manual is the most powerful authoring tool for technical
documentation. Boost your productivity! http://www.helpandmanual.com

---
You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- 

To unsubscribe send a blank email to 
techwr-l-unsubscribe -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
or visit http://lists.techwr-l.com/mailman/options/techwr-l/archive%40web.techwr-l.com


To subscribe, send a blank email to techwr-l-join -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-  Visit
http://www.techwr-l.com/ for more resources and info.