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Subject:RE: Coworker who won't take no... From:"Butler, Darren J CTR USAF AFMC 584 CBSS/GBHAC" <Darren -dot- Butler -dot- ctr -at- Robins -dot- af -dot- mil> To:"Blount, Patricia A" <Patricia -dot- Blount -at- ca -dot- com>, <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com> Date:Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:16:04 -0400
Patty,
I wish I knew how to give a standing ovation via email.
>> Thank you all for your words of wisdom and caution. This
assertiveness
stuff is hard for me. I worry too much about hurting people's feelings
but finally realized that's also not my problem.<<
The new temptation will be to patch-up his damaged ego with some sort
of "friendly gesture." DON'T GO THERE!!
If a mouse gets into our office, most of the ladies will "absolutely
fah-lip.......O-O-O-UT" and demand that it be relentlessly pursued like
a four-legged Bin-Laden until it's caught. But when the foul beast has
been "brought to justice" and dispatched to an empty paper box or a
trash can, there is an immediate sea change; "did you catch it, let me
see it - aw, it looks so frightened - um....what are you gonna do with
it? - YOU'RE GOING TO MURDER IT, AREN'T YOU - that's so mean - can't you
just let it go outside or something - here give it a piece of my donut -
oh, please don't *Kill* it". But, if I show the "poor-little-thing"
compassion, it will just come back in through the same crack that it
wriggled through before - this time with a dozen of his buddies. No,
it's time to kill the rodent and plug-up the hole!
Of course, your co-worker isn't vermin, but his pushy-ness is just as
unwelcome, so the same principle applies. However, it is EQUALY
IMPORTANT that you re-affirm your respect for him as a co-worker as well
a professional. You don't want this mouse becoming a rat that wants to
bite you.
>> My oldest son had suffered a concussion during a hockey game<<
I pray your son will fully recover with no lasting damage. I commend you
as a single mother for letting your sons "rough-it-up" out there. It was
a hard thing for my mother, but she did it.
BTW - I hear hockey moms are VERY A-list these days.
Congrats,
Darren
Darren J Butler
Technical Writer/Editor/Illustrator/Recovering smart-alec
Integrated Data for Maintenance
NG Corp
Robins AFB, Georgia
-----Original Message-----
From:
techwr-l-bounces+darren -dot- butler -dot- ctr=robins -dot- af -dot- mil -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+darren -dot- butler -dot- ctr=robins -dot- af -dot- mil -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot-
com] On Behalf Of Blount, Patricia A
Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008 9:07 AM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: Coworker who won't take no...
Good morning, all...
Some weeks back, I'd reached out to the List for help in dealing with a
socially inept developer who is the subject matter expert on one of my
writing projects. This is an individual who kept pressing me to bring my
sons to his favorite hang-out, a local role-playing game store, pressing
me to the point where I began questioning (and worrying about) his
motive.
A few of you have asked me off-list for an update. At long last, I
FINALLY mustered enough courage to tell him I've heard enough. It
started on Monday...
My oldest son had suffered a concussion during a hockey game Sunday, so
I missed a meeting on Monday. The next day, he came by to find out what
happened and used the violence so prevalent in that sport to press the
case yet again for the store, citing its civilized and gentle
environment.
Picture it...
As the words left his mouth, I frowned. Slowly stood up (I'm taller than
he is) with my hands in a STOP gesture. Cut him off with carefully
chosen words: "<Name>, that subject is closed. I can't make this any
clearer. My sons have no interest in it. I have no interest in it. I'm
not discussing it again. Now, unless you have any project work to
discuss, you'll have to excuse me."
He put his head down, hurried away. I'm not sure, but I think I saw a
tremble in his lower lip.
I'm a mean old lady who most likely doomed herself to an eternity in a
game store for making this kid cower, but d -at- mn! I feel liberated!
The guide I wrote goes to him for review on Monday and I'm no longer
worried about it. If he can't or won't do his job, that's not my
problem.
Thank you all for your words of wisdom and caution. This assertiveness
stuff is hard for me. I worry too much about hurting people's feelings
but finally realized that's also not my problem.
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ComponentOne Doc-To-Help gives you everything you need to author and
publish quality Help, Web, and print content. Perfect for technical
authors, developers, and policy writers. Download a FREE trial. http://www.componentone.com/DocToHelp/
True single source, conditional content, PDF export, modular help.
Help & Manual is the most powerful authoring tool for technical
documentation. Boost your productivity! http://www.helpandmanual.com
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