Re: Grammar (again!)

[Deborah Hemstreet <dvora -at- tech-challenged -dot- com>]

In the context, people know it's licensed out to others...

I am not free to rewrite the entire paragraph write now... I just want 
to know, is "THAT ARE" needed?

Thanks!

Deborah

Ed wrote:
> My .02:
>
> We licensed six of our technologies to other companies, which are currently
> in various stages of development.
>
> I think it clarifies things a bit, and also turns to active voice. However,
> I'm confused if the technologies are being developed by your company, or the
> companies to which they're licensed.
>
> -=Ed.
>
>   
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: techwr-l-bounces+hamonwry12=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
>> [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+hamonwry12=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On
>> Behalf Of Deborah Hemstreet
>> Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 11:53 AM
>> To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
>> Subject: Grammar (again!)
>>
>> Hi All,
>>
>> When writing text for a brochure, which do you believe reads more
>> smoothly:
>>
>> 1. We have licensed out six technologies that are in various stages of
>> development...
>>
>> 2.  We have licensed out six technologies in various stages of
>> development...
>>
>> Could you explain WHY you believe 1 or 2 is better than the other? I
>> don't want to give my opnion, as I want as objective a response as
>> possible.
>>
>> Thanks!
>>
>> Deborah
>> http://www.tech-challenged.com
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