RE: Grammar (again!)

["Lauren" <lauren -at- writeco -dot- net>]

I agree with your final choice, but I do not like the use of "all," unless
that was emphasized for some marketing purpose, but I do like that it breaks
up the sentence in two short phrases.  Brochure sentences should be rather
brief, like your two phrases, since people are not reading for content.
They want the gist of what it being sold.  Does the sentence really end in
ellipses?  I don't like that.

Lauren


> From: Deborah Hemstreet

> Thanks to you all for your comments and suggestions on this 
> one. While 
> not optimal, I believe the following text is now better:
> 
> We have issued licenses for six technologies, all in various 
> stages of 
> development....
> 
> Thanks to all (including those of you who replied off-list).
> 
> Deborah
> http://www.tech-challenged.com
> 


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