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The fact is that there is no one solid answer to the problem. Probably all -- or most -- of us on this list have either witnessed this problem or been involved in it at some time in our working career.
Some management acts professionally and works with both sides to end the conflict with as little negativity as possible on both sides (though this can be very difficult, depending on the personalities involved). Other companies continue to believe in "management by nintimidation".
I myself was victimized at one contract job by the office flirt at aÂdivision of an international equipment manufacturer. SheÂused to do shoulder rubs on the vp of national product support,Âhis national service manager, and a couple of the other guys (but NOT me). She often bragged in the office about her dating life (single mother, never married) and how she strung along one guy after the other. WhileÂshe was as cute and cunning as they make them, her office demeanor with the bosses was like that of Goldie Hawn on the old "Laugh-In" show of the late 60's (a real ditz). Her work cubicle was adjacent to mine (bummer!!). I heard all her phone calls (even when I didn't want to). She did half the work she was capable of, and did half ofÂthat when the bosses were away. She spent most of the day NOT working and even openly bragged about it; the other women in the office simply shook their heads and went about their own jobs. Yep, she was there for looks
only. I just did the best job I could in a VERY disruptive office environment, believing my top-quality work would demonstrate my professionalism. But that was not to be.
After one incident when she loudly asked if anyone in the office had a gun (she was p'oh'd at me) and I asked her how she could get away with that talk, she finally set me up for dismissal. I never was asked anything about the "gun" commentÂby management and the entire thingÂwas all orchestrated behind my back with no input from me. (Even had an armed private security guard present at my walk-out to show they meant business.) And nope, I'm not even capable of going postal. Yep, it hurt, but it also proved how totally incompetent and evil the management was. After nine months out of work, I finally landed an 18-month contract with another firm, then an 18-month with another company (I'd still be at the second one but the economic bottom dropped out in late '08). Today, I'm the guy at the China-based heavy equipment manufacturer I described in an earlier e-mail some weeks ago, and was recently promoted to "Senior Tech Writer - Project Lead" (with a nice
salary increase); I've now been to China (landed in Shanghai and wondered aloud, "Recession? What recession?!"). I'll be headed back to China in April for a week. The downside is that I've got a 106-mile commute everyday, but that's life (or unemployment).
As for the evil company, its management and the evil little b---ch:
â She was finally dismissed after failing one of those unscheduled pee tests (I forgot to mention that she also bragged about her drinking and other habits).
â The parent company reorganized the division I worked at and split up all functions to different cities.
â Both of the bosses mentioned above are scrambling for jobs somewhere else.
One other warning, those lousy work environments CAN screw up your health. I NEVER had high blood pressure (and had it checked every time I donated blood at Red Cross locations), until one day at the "workplace in hell"; I got a flushot with some other coworkers and did the free blood pressure check.ÂIÂfelt perfectly fine (no lightheadedness), yet the med techs had me immediately sit down and told me I was a point or two below stroke. Now I gotta take a low-dose of bp med, but am otherwise ok. Like many of us, I'm slightly overweight, but not even close to obese, I don't do drugs or anything else. So it all goes back to staying where I was not wanted and holding all that stress in.
So for your own good, either end the conflict or get another job.
-- Kenpo
________________________________
From: Bill Swallow <techcommdood -at- gmail -dot- com>
To: Gene Kim-Eng <techwr -at- genek -dot- com>
Cc: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Sent: Wed, March 10, 2010 10:30:01 AM
Subject: Re: Jealousy in the TW workplace?
It really depends on how you approach it. If your tone is combative
then yes, you'll get into a heated conflict. But, if you step back
from the comment and make a honest and emotionally neutral suggestion,
it shouldn't result in a heated conflict at all. By remaining neutral
to the attacks you can objectively and calmly navigate the situation
and you leave it to the other person to make the next move. If they
agree to the suggestion, great! If they stomp off in a huff with a "I
don't have time for this" then others will clearly see the quality of
your character vs. that person's.
On Wed, Mar 10, 2010 at 10:13 AM, Gene Kim-Eng <techwr -at- genek -dot- com> wrote:
> If you want to start a p***ing match with the other person that may end badly.
> Otherwise, I would either go with Stuart's suggestion and say, "in that case,
> maybe you can help her because you seem to know more about it than I do," or if
> I was in a grumpy mood that day, "excuse me, we're having a conversation here."
> The other approaches would all fit my description of fighting fire with
> gasoline.
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