TechWhirl (TECHWR-L) is a resource for technical writing and technical communications professionals of all experience levels and in all industries to share their experiences and acquire information.
For two decades, technical communicators have turned to TechWhirl to ask and answer questions about the always-changing world of technical communications, such as tools, skills, career paths, methodologies, and emerging industries. The TechWhirl Archives and magazine, created for, by and about technical writers, offer a wealth of knowledge to everyone with an interest in any aspect of technical communications.
I would never write "Your message has not been sent". The software would post that message as an alert. In fact, I'd prefer the alert to say "Sending message: [progress bar]" followed by "Failure" if the message didn't get out. In the manual I would say,
If the system failed to send your message, the cause can be one of:
* The foo failed to bar
* The bar failed to baz
* etc.
Or if your engr dept is generous, list the reasons in the alert itself. Of if they're really generous, identify the problem on the spot and state that in the alert. But I would never choose to write any of the variations you proposed.
And I reiterate, if the agent is unknown to you, you're not doing your job.
On 22 Oct 2012, at 17:58, Chris Despopoulos <despopoulos_chriss -at- yahoo -dot- com> wrote:
As a challenge, why not go back to your favourite passive passage, and see if you can name all the agents of the actions and states you describe?
But all you're stating here is what active voice is used for. Nobody, except an incompetent (or, to be generous, inexperienced) writer is going to use passive voice when the reader needs to know the agent of the action. Signalling the agent of the action is what ACTIVE voice is for. Passive voice is for situations when the agent of the action is either unknown or an unnecessary distraction.
"Your message has not been sent."
You seriously want to change that to 'You have not sent your message' (user response: yes I bl**dy well have!) or 'The system has not sent your message' (user response: why bl**dy not?)?
"Your details are being processed" - are you going to change that to "The system is processing your details" ? Does the user care what the system is doing over and above what is happening to their details?
I suggest if your answer to all of those is 'Yes', then you're under the thrall of a prescriptive approach to language which has nothing to do with what is natural or the word count (the active voice versions are just as long if not longer) but rather a narrow vision of the power and versatility of grammar to handle different situations that pay the most attention to the reader's, rather than the writer's, needs.
Best
Phil http://applehelpwriter.wordpress.com
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Writer Tip: You have more time to author content with Doc-To-Help, because your project can be up and running in 3 steps.
See the “Getting Started with Doc-To-Help” blog post. http://bit.ly/doc-to-help-3-steps
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-
To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-leave -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
