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Subject:Re: Need hints & tips on writing a proposal From:Bill Swallow <techcommdood -at- gmail -dot- com> To:Peter Neilson <neilson -at- windstream -dot- net> Date:Thu, 29 Nov 2012 10:58:33 -0500
All good suggestions! I do suggest that specific technology terminology be
used though, but in response to time and cost. Avoid the jargon and get to
the heart of the business need. But since it's equipment, you can bet that
techies will be involved. You need to speak to their needs as well. Many
times they will have a very different perception of cost than the president
will. In the end, they'll come to their own compromise, but you'd best make
sure that both the business folk and te tech folk have what info they need.
On Thu, Nov 29, 2012 at 9:05 AM, Peter Neilson <neilson -at- windstream -dot- net>wrote:
> On Thu, 29 Nov 2012 07:38:52 -0500, Craig Cardimon <
> craig -dot- cardimon -at- gmail -dot- com> wrote:
>
> Morning, Whirlers,
>>
>> I offered to help a computer person with a proposal for equipment. They
>> need help simplifying the language. The document does seem kind of
>> "jargony."
>>
>> This document will be seen by the president of the company and probably
>> the board of directors.
>>
>
> Yes, money. Also risks.
>
> Many years ago the lab where I worked needed to buy additional equipment
> to supplement some we already had. We needed to justify selection of one
> vendor over others. There were at least three contenders, one of whom, the
> most expensive, had sold us the original item now to be expanded.
>
> A senior engineer spent several weeks gathering details about the less
> expensive vendors and their equipment. He learned that vendor C's item, the
> cheapest, "almost" worked, but would be a total failure for our
> application. Vendor B was of unknown quality, but their specs indicated the
> thing would work. Vendor A (the original manufacturer) was twice as
> expensive as B. We went with B, knowing there was some risk. We saved the
> US government perhaps $10,000, if we neglected the time spent by a senior
> engineer. (Equipment and salary came from two separate pockets, so the
> obvious economic determination was not under consideration.)
>
> After the equipment was delivered, late or course, we got it installed. It
> did work, but failed soon thereafter. Company B was no longer around to
> handle the guarantee, so Yours Truly took it apart and fixed its shoddy
> construction.
>
> Had we done a risk-based analysis originally we might have avoided all the
> difficulty and cost involved in trying to save money.
>
> My advice? Reduce technical items to dollars and to risk, if at all
> possible, and on a single page. Put technical details into attachments. Do
> not worry about the readability of the attachments, but try to ascertain
> they do not contradict themselves or each other.
>
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--
Bill Swallow
Writing and Content Strategy Consultant http://www.linkedin.com/in/techcommdood
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