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You would think simpler is better (I am definitely in agreement w/ the
comments provided), but in another part of the manual, there is a plot that
distinctly shows a legend, and instead of only referring to the legend (as
in see legend for plot details), I was required to literally explain the
legend verbatim, as in Active is highlighted in blue, Non-active is
highlighted in red, offline is highlighted in black, etc.
I am too old for this head-banging - I will pick my battles. . .
Tammy Van Boening
Tammy dot vanboening at spectrumwritingllc dot com
www.spectrumwritingllc.com
From: debora ames <deboraames -at- hotmail -dot- com>
Sent: Monday, January 7, 2019 12:11 PM
To: Lin Laurie <linlaurie1 -at- hotmail -dot- com>; tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com;
techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: Punctuation question
Yes, active voice is always preferable (#2).
_____
From: Lin Laurie <linlaurie1 -at- hotmail -dot- com <mailto:linlaurie1 -at- hotmail -dot- com> >
Sent: Monday, January 7, 2019 10:57 AM
To: debora ames; tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com
<mailto:tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com> ; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
<mailto:techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Subject: RE: Punctuation question
Obviously I have no context as you didn't provide any preceding text, but
here are my thoughts when I saw your question:
1. Why do you need to state how the information is conveyed at all when
a picture might be more helpful?
2. Could you change from passive to active voice to get rid of all the
awkwardness of any of those choices? Information displays across five tabs:
Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
3. Definitely left to right is obvious so could be left out of the
sentence, so I agree with Tammy but I'd try my other suggestions before
keeping any of the structures you submitted.
This looks like it could be academic writing, which is the most passive
writing there is (IMHO) and if so, you have constraints and likely option 3
is your best option.
Good luck.
Lin
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+linlaurie1=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
<mailto:techwr-l-bounces+linlaurie1=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+linlaurie1=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On
Behalf Of debora ames
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2019 10:42 AM
To: tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com <mailto:tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com> ;
techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com <mailto:techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Subject: Re: Punctuation question
I would write it as: The information is displayed across five tabs which,
from left to
right, are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
...because if you remove ", from left to right,", the sentence will still
make sense.
________________________________
From: techwr-l-bounces+deboraames=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
<mailto:techwr-l-bounces+deboraames=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
<techwr-l-bounces+deboraames=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
<mailto:techwr-l-bounces+deboraames=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com> > on
behalf of tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com
<mailto:tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com> <tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com
<mailto:tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com> >
Sent: Monday, January 7, 2019 10:35 AM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com <mailto:techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Subject: Punctuation question
Consider the following three sentences:
1. The information is displayed across five tabs, which, from left to
right, are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
2. The information is displayed across five tabs, which from left to
right, are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
3. The information is displayed across five tabs, which from left to
right are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
Three different editors. Three different copy edits. I have my 'druthers,
but I thought I would reach out to all the writers on this list and get a
majority opinion. And yes, I am saying opinion, because I know that there is
an absolute right and wrong, but I need to be neutral and non-judgmental
when supplying my feedback and making the correction. Three egos are
involved. . . .
TVB
Tammy Van Boening
Tammy dot vanboening at spectrumwritingllc dot com
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