Hillary Clinton's Medical Dictionary

[Charles Fisher <decrsc!charles -at- UUNET -dot- UU -dot- NET>]

I recently received this from another list, and I thought those of
us who sometimes compile glossaries might get a chuckle out of it. This
message generated quite a stir about the appropriateness of jokes on a
list dedicated to a particular topic. However, all policical implications
aside, I found the following very funny. If you think an occasional joke
message is OK, then read on. If not, press 'd' now....

> >
> >               Hillary Clinton's Medical Dictionary
> >
> > Artery                          The study of paintings
> > Bacteria                        The back door of a cafeteria
> > Barium                          What doctors do when patients die
> BENIGN - WHAT YOU ARE AFTER YOU BE EIGHT
> > Bowel                           A letter like a, e, i, o , or u
> > Cesarean Section                A neighborhood in Rome
> > Cat Scan                        Searching for kitty
> > Cauterize                       Made eye contact with her
> > Colic                           A sheep dog
> CONGENITAL - FRIENDLY
> > D & C                           Where Washington is
> > Dilate                          To live long
> > Enema                           Not a friend
> > Fester                          Quicker
> > Genital                         Not a Jew
> > G. I. Series                    Soldier ball game
> > Hangnail                        Coat hook
> > Impotent                        Distinguished; well known
> > Labor Pain                      Getting hurt at work
> > Medical Staff                   A doctor's cane
> MINOR OPERATION - COAL DIGGING
> > Morbid                          A higher offer
> > Nitrates                        Cheaper than day rates
> > Node                            Was aware of
> ORGANIC - CHURCH MUSICIAN
> > Outpatient                      A person who fainted
> > Pap Smear                       A fatherhood test
> > Pelvis                          A cousin to Elvis
> > Postoperative                   A letter carrier
> PROTEIN - IN FAVOR OF YOUNG PEOPLE
> > Recovery Room                   A place to do upholstery
> > Rectum                          Dan near killedem
> SECRETION - HIDING ANYTHING
> > Seizure                         Roman emperor
> SEROLOGY - STUDY OF ENGLISH KNIGHTHOOD
> > Tablet                          A small table
> > Terminal Illness                Getting sick at the airport
> > Tumor                           More than one
> > Urine                           Opposite of your out
> > Varicose                        Nearby
> > Vein                            Conceited
> VARICOSE VEINS - VEINS WHICH ARE NEARBY EACH OTHER
>                  CONCEITED PEOPLE WHICH ARE NEARBY EACH OTHER
> >

--
Charles Fisher