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Subject:Re: Sentence structure From:Fran Freiman//Joe Freiman <ffreiman -at- IX -dot- NETCOM -dot- COM> Date:Wed, 21 Jun 1995 11:42:57 -0700
Karen Mayer wrote:
> When you are giving an instruction in your documentation, do you
first
> give the instruction, then identify the need or condition, or do you
> identify the need or condition first and follow it with the
instruction?
> For example, which would you more likely write:
> A. To drive a car, first go to the department of transportation and
apply
> for a driver's license.
> B. Go to the department of transportation and apply for a driver's
> license before driving a car.
<snip ... >
Karen, I edit documentation produced by a technical company and I see
this type of thing all the time. There's a logic problem that occurs
(has occurred in your sample) if the need or condition is not correctly
stated in the first place.
"To drive a car" is considered the need/condition, but it has nothing
to do with going to the DOT and applying for a license. Driving is a
condition that exists whether one satisfies the legal requirements for
licensing or not. So, the need/condition is incorrect. The
need/condition is really getting the driver's license. The instruction
is trying to cover too much ground; it's not specific enough.
The possibilities--"To get a driver's license, [fill out an application
at the DOT]" or "To get a driver's license, [go the the DOT to fill out
an application]"--are more to the point and infinitely more helpful to
the reader.
Therefore, make sure the need/condition is correctly identified. Then,
place the need/condition (which will be a dependent clause/phrase) in
the sentence in such a way that the dependent clause/phrase connects
directly with the independent/main clause/phrase. I doubt there is a
hard & fast rule that the need/condition should be first "always &
without exception" because that would lead to boring, repetitious
style, which is certainly not conducive to successful instructions or
communication.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
Fran Freiman
ffreiman -at- ix -dot- netcom -dot- com
--
Fran Freiman or Joe Freiman Email: ffreiman -at- ix -dot- netcom -dot- com
