Re: Need your Help

["Marilyn Baldwin (mlbb -at- capgroup -dot- com)" <Marilyn_Baldwin -at- CAPGROUP -dot- COM>]

Cassandra Parker asked what to say instead of "per our conversation," which
indeed is outdated, stiff, stilted, and passe.

I prefer something along the following lines:

     Dear (Person),

     Thanks for calling to request (whatever), which I'm enclosing. . .
OR
     It was good talking to you today.  As you requested, I am sending
     you (whatever). . .
OR
     When we spoke yesterday, you requested notification of the broadcast
     dates and times for "Tech Writing Tips" during the month of February.
     Here they are:
          Friday     Feb 5     8pm
          Saturday   Feb 6    10am (repeat of Friday night program)
          Friday     Feb 12    8pm
          Saturday   Feb 13   10am (repeat of Friday night program)
OR
     As you requested when we spoke this morning, this letter is to inform
     you that Friendly Fixit no longer services products manufactured by
     Dinkum, Inc.  We are unaware of any other local service provider, and
     suggest that you contact Dinkum, Inc. (1-800-xxx-xxxx) for this
     information.

What you want to strive for is the sense of a human talking to a human.
After all, you already had a conversation with this person, and are making
some kind of agreed-upon response (that's what the old "as per our
conversation" - shudder! - means).

HTH.

- Marilyn Baldwin
(mlbb -at- capgroup -dot- com)


From: Cassandra Parker

To:   TECHWR-L -at- LISTSERV -dot- OKSTATE -dot- EDU
Subject:  Need your Help

>>SNIPPETY, SNIP. . .<<
What is the rule for replacing the follow:
        Per our conversation today, I am writing to inform you ............
With the emphasis on, "Per our conversation."


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