Wording help?

Subject: Wording help?
From: Geoff Hart <Geoff-h -at- MTL -dot- FERIC -dot- CA>
Date: Tue, 27 Jul 1999 11:43:50 -0400

Sarah Wigser <<...don't like the following phrase: ...problems
or issues are followed up on and documented.>>

The obvious problem is that (because this is written in passive
voice) there's no clue whatsoever as to who follows up on
and documents the issues. Fix that and you fix the worst
problem. For example: "Sarah follows up on and documents
all problems and issues." Step two is that "follows up on and
documents" is pretty vague, since we lack context, and he
wording doesn't provide the punchline (why this happens and
what ensues). Perhaps: "Sarah investigates all problems and
issues, documents them, and passes them to tech support to
ensure they're resolved." Revise the wording as required,
using these two strategies, to fit your actual situation.

--Geoff Hart @8^{)} Pointe-Claire, Quebec
geoff-h -at- mtl -dot- feric -dot- ca

"Though the editor is the author's ally, she should never forget that
she is also the reader's first line of defense."--Shoshanna Green

From ??? -at- ??? Sun Jan 00 00:00:00 0000=




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